And the winner is….

ME! I win! I win the ‘Most Hateful Mom of the World’ award. How did I win? What did I win? How did you not know that there was even such a contest?! To start, how did I win? I won because I’m the meanest, most horrible mom. What did I win? I won a trip! A Mommy Guilt trip! Just for me. Disclaimer: Sorry this contest was not broadcast state or nationwide.

Well, let me tell you a little bit more of the story….

You see, it all started a long time ago, when my Honey bunny first started “fibbing” to me about brushing & flossing her teeth. This went on for awhile with rewards and/or punishment distributed periodically until the dentist finally had to mandate that she come to the office for check-ups & cleanings every 4 months because her teeth and gums were so badly deteriorating. I’m just gonna say, that my daily nagging was clearly not making a difference cuz she still wasn’t doing it.

Ok! Fast forward to a few days ago when I asked her if she was ready for school, including the usual, EVERY DAY things necessary to be ready for school, e.g., flossing, teeth brushing, face washing, to which she replied “Yes MOM, I’m ready”, and due to the fact that she’s perhaps been less truthful in the past, I asked again (thinking that maybe I’d give her ‘the out’ to come up & complete the tasks if she really hadn’t done them – damn am I an enabler?) but she says to me “WHY DON’T YOU BELIEVE ME?!” *read with whiny voice*

Right. Well, I decide I’d check out the situation in her bathroom sink before jumping to any conclusions. Uh oh. BONE DRY. I MEAN REALLY BONE DRY. Damn it! Now I’m gonna have to do something I really, very much do NOT want to do. What?! You’re probably screaming, what did you do?! I called her to come up to her bathroom and pointed to the Sahara desert that was her sink and asked how she could possibly have washed her face, flossed, and brushed her teeth in that sink. Her response was that it had dried. Suuuuure. At this juncture, I presented exhibit B, her little sister’s bathroom sink which was still wet from when she finished all the morning routine nearly an hour prior.

Shit slowly began to spiral outta control when I tell her that I was gonna have to do something now due to her total lie, that she brought it on herself, and that because she knows what she did was wrong, so on and so forth. I told her that she wouldn’t be able to go to the Halloween dance at school on Friday. Now comes the swirling vortex of crying, begging, pleading, bargaining, and more crying. Oh, just wait, it gets better.

15 minutes it has taken us to have this “conversation”, so now I’m not ready for work and she’s got to get to school before she’s late. I tell her to give me the permission slip & money for the dance. Commence additional wailing, pleading, bargaining (she told me I could take away her CELLPHONE, computer, and TV privileges, if I’d just let her go to the dance – heeyyy, I must have really struck a nerve with this punishment), crying, and the coup de grâce, “YOU HATE ME!!” Ahhhhh, life with an almost teenager. So much fun. Said NO ONE EVER. And now me too. I felt ill and so very sad because I wanted her to go to the dance! And have fun with her friends! But I just couldn’t let it go this time. I had to put my foot down. But damn it if I didn’t feel as horrible about the whole thing as she did. Was I doing the right thing? Will she be scared for the rest of her life? Was I being too harsh? Should her father & I start sleeping with one eye open!?

So! Yesterday. I’m driving her to school and she says to me, “you know my friends told me that I should ask you if there was something that I could do that would make you change your mind about letting me go to the dance…” Me: blah, blah, blah, more useless lecturing that she’s totally not listening to. As she’s getting out of the car she asks me again, “so what’s your answer?” Me: oh, sweetie, I haven’t changed my mind. And then, after school, there’s yet another attempt but this time it includes a request from her Drama teacher to participate in the Haunted House that’s panned for the school dance. “But MOM she wants me to do this!” Me: well that’s unfortunate because you’re not going to the dance. You know what? You gotta give her props for trying!

 

Thanks for listening, or reading (if you must be technical),

Ciao

 

P.S. Last night she mentions to me that her girlfriend is also not going to the dance due to a punishment so MAYBE they could have a sleepover! Bwahahahahaa. Um, no. I’m certain this isn’t over yet. Two more days till the dance. Here’s to hoping I survive.

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Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream, or at least less arguing at bedtime

Bedtime is such a pleasant time in our household. Bwhahahahahaha. No, not really. It is, and I’m sure this comes as no surprise to you, a challenge. As it probably is in your household as well. I’m guessing. But I suppose I could be wrong. Maybe it’s a breeze for you. If it is, then DON’T tell me. I wanna keep believing that I’m not alone in this nightmare.

Anywhoo, with two gremlins at two diverse age groups with two different bedtimes, it is quite a bit of work. But perhaps I’m making this harder on myself than necessary. Let me explain… right now I begin getting Pumpkin ready for bed at roughly 6:30pm. This includes bath, getting pjs on, teeth brushing, reading a couple books, back rubbing for a minute or so, hugs or three, kisses, more hugs, and more kisses, a cup of water, a trip to the bathroom. More water. Now take all that and times it by two because at approx 7:45pm I’m doing this same thing all over again for Honey bunny. Only with fewer books (since she can read on her own) and less help with the putting on of pjs and teeth brushing because really she’s nine. She’s been doing this for awhile.

If I just put them to bed at the same time it probably wouldn’t be as bad. Or I could be totally deluding myself.

Honey bunny would whine & moan & stomp & whine (yes, I wrote that again intentionally), oh and let us not forget the backtalking! and attitude! about going to bed so early if I switched her bedtime to match that of Pumpkin’s. On the other hand, if I allow Pumpkin to stay up until Honey bunny’s bedtime, then I’ll end up having to deal with an extra extra grumpy little gremlin come morning.

As it is right now Pumpkin ends up staying awake until after 8pm because of all the activity that is still taking place throughout the house. She’s in and out of her bed nearly a half dozen times before she finally settles down to sleep. RIDICULOUSNESS! And there is only so many times I can say, “Pumpkin, get back in bed!”

I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m being manipulated by my 4 year old. Actually, I’ll say it, I am being manipulated by my 4 year old. Sheesh. But what the hell am I supposed to do – tie her to the bed? I’m kidding. I have only thought about doing that a couple 1,000 times, I wouldn’t really, actually, *in fact* tie her to the bed. Do you think that would work? Still kidding. Heh.

What to do… what to do. I’m too tired to keep fighting this battle. I want to go get some sleep at some point before midnight! And I want to do it without arguing, fighting, crying, and whining & that’s all on my part.

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),
Ciao