And the winner is….

ME! I win! I win the ‘Most Hateful Mom of the World’ award. How did I win? What did I win? How did you not know that there was even such a contest?! To start, how did I win? I won because I’m the meanest, most horrible mom. What did I win? I won a trip! A Mommy Guilt trip! Just for me. Disclaimer: Sorry this contest was not broadcast state or nationwide.

Well, let me tell you a little bit more of the story….

You see, it all started a long time ago, when my Honey bunny first started “fibbing” to me about brushing & flossing her teeth. This went on for awhile with rewards and/or punishment distributed periodically until the dentist finally had to mandate that she come to the office for check-ups & cleanings every 4 months because her teeth and gums were so badly deteriorating. I’m just gonna say, that my daily nagging was clearly not making a difference cuz she still wasn’t doing it.

Ok! Fast forward to a few days ago when I asked her if she was ready for school, including the usual, EVERY DAY things necessary to be ready for school, e.g., flossing, teeth brushing, face washing, to which she replied “Yes MOM, I’m ready”, and due to the fact that she’s perhaps been less truthful in the past, I asked again (thinking that maybe I’d give her ‘the out’ to come up & complete the tasks if she really hadn’t done them – damn am I an enabler?) but she says to me “WHY DON’T YOU BELIEVE ME?!” *read with whiny voice*

Right. Well, I decide I’d check out the situation in her bathroom sink before jumping to any conclusions. Uh oh. BONE DRY. I MEAN REALLY BONE DRY. Damn it! Now I’m gonna have to do something I really, very much do NOT want to do. What?! You’re probably screaming, what did you do?! I called her to come up to her bathroom and pointed to the Sahara desert that was her sink and asked how she could possibly have washed her face, flossed, and brushed her teeth in that sink. Her response was that it had dried. Suuuuure. At this juncture, I presented exhibit B, her little sister’s bathroom sink which was still wet from when she finished all the morning routine nearly an hour prior.

Shit slowly began to spiral outta control when I tell her that I was gonna have to do something now due to her total lie, that she brought it on herself, and that because she knows what she did was wrong, so on and so forth. I told her that she wouldn’t be able to go to the Halloween dance at school on Friday. Now comes the swirling vortex of crying, begging, pleading, bargaining, and more crying. Oh, just wait, it gets better.

15 minutes it has taken us to have this “conversation”, so now I’m not ready for work and she’s got to get to school before she’s late. I tell her to give me the permission slip & money for the dance. Commence additional wailing, pleading, bargaining (she told me I could take away her CELLPHONE, computer, and TV privileges, if I’d just let her go to the dance – heeyyy, I must have really struck a nerve with this punishment), crying, and the coup de grâce, “YOU HATE ME!!” Ahhhhh, life with an almost teenager. So much fun. Said NO ONE EVER. And now me too. I felt ill and so very sad because I wanted her to go to the dance! And have fun with her friends! But I just couldn’t let it go this time. I had to put my foot down. But damn it if I didn’t feel as horrible about the whole thing as she did. Was I doing the right thing? Will she be scared for the rest of her life? Was I being too harsh? Should her father & I start sleeping with one eye open!?

So! Yesterday. I’m driving her to school and she says to me, “you know my friends told me that I should ask you if there was something that I could do that would make you change your mind about letting me go to the dance…” Me: blah, blah, blah, more useless lecturing that she’s totally not listening to. As she’s getting out of the car she asks me again, “so what’s your answer?” Me: oh, sweetie, I haven’t changed my mind. And then, after school, there’s yet another attempt but this time it includes a request from her Drama teacher to participate in the Haunted House that’s panned for the school dance. “But MOM she wants me to do this!” Me: well that’s unfortunate because you’re not going to the dance. You know what? You gotta give her props for trying!

 

Thanks for listening, or reading (if you must be technical),

Ciao

 

P.S. Last night she mentions to me that her girlfriend is also not going to the dance due to a punishment so MAYBE they could have a sleepover! Bwahahahahaa. Um, no. I’m certain this isn’t over yet. Two more days till the dance. Here’s to hoping I survive.

Friday Faves – Late Edition, like with a newspaper if they only had those anymore, oh wait, there still are some newspapers left so just disregard that remark

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It’s the Friday Faves late, late, late on Friday. I know. Sue me! I was busy. Heh. Well here is this week’s Friday Faves. Hope you get a laugh.

No doubt your mom or dad has said a crazy thing or three to you, your brother, or sister. No? Just me? Huh. Anyway, thanks to Enna for bringing this site to my attention. Have a good laugh. And maybe you can add something that your parents have said to you….

Awesome adorable Halloween inspired treats for your Halloween party or even just to make with your gremlins.

These barefoot shoes are crazy. I’m really curious how these would actually feel on your feet. And while exercising. Take a look for yourself and read what Badass Dad has to say.

I love me some cake wrecks. When I saw these inappropriate cakes I HAD to share them. You’re welcome.

For those that use their iPhone A WHOLE HELLOFALOT. How about a solar charging case to recharge your battery?!

Who in the HALIBUT would wear this sort of thing???

This sounds delish & ghoulish! A perfect drink for a Halloween party.

Nearly every day I question my mothering methods and skill or lack thereof. So this post about not raising our voices peaked my interest.

I agree… WTF? What were the designers of this cup lid thinking when they created this.

Can you hear it? Whaaaaaaa
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Luckily I didn’t have nearly as many problems toilet training Pumpkin as I did with Honey Bunny. If you really boil it down, then I should say that I didn’t toilet train Pumpkin… she did it herself. One day she decided that she wanted to wear big girl undies and from that point on she ALWAYS used the toilet. I was flabbergasted. Considering all the issues we went thru with Honey Bunny I couldn’t believe how easy it was with Pumpkin. A good thing for new parents or those that are starting potty training.

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),
Ciao

Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream, or at least less arguing at bedtime

Bedtime is such a pleasant time in our household. Bwhahahahahaha. No, not really. It is, and I’m sure this comes as no surprise to you, a challenge. As it probably is in your household as well. I’m guessing. But I suppose I could be wrong. Maybe it’s a breeze for you. If it is, then DON’T tell me. I wanna keep believing that I’m not alone in this nightmare.

Anywhoo, with two gremlins at two diverse age groups with two different bedtimes, it is quite a bit of work. But perhaps I’m making this harder on myself than necessary. Let me explain… right now I begin getting Pumpkin ready for bed at roughly 6:30pm. This includes bath, getting pjs on, teeth brushing, reading a couple books, back rubbing for a minute or so, hugs or three, kisses, more hugs, and more kisses, a cup of water, a trip to the bathroom. More water. Now take all that and times it by two because at approx 7:45pm I’m doing this same thing all over again for Honey bunny. Only with fewer books (since she can read on her own) and less help with the putting on of pjs and teeth brushing because really she’s nine. She’s been doing this for awhile.

If I just put them to bed at the same time it probably wouldn’t be as bad. Or I could be totally deluding myself.

Honey bunny would whine & moan & stomp & whine (yes, I wrote that again intentionally), oh and let us not forget the backtalking! and attitude! about going to bed so early if I switched her bedtime to match that of Pumpkin’s. On the other hand, if I allow Pumpkin to stay up until Honey bunny’s bedtime, then I’ll end up having to deal with an extra extra grumpy little gremlin come morning.

As it is right now Pumpkin ends up staying awake until after 8pm because of all the activity that is still taking place throughout the house. She’s in and out of her bed nearly a half dozen times before she finally settles down to sleep. RIDICULOUSNESS! And there is only so many times I can say, “Pumpkin, get back in bed!”

I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m being manipulated by my 4 year old. Actually, I’ll say it, I am being manipulated by my 4 year old. Sheesh. But what the hell am I supposed to do – tie her to the bed? I’m kidding. I have only thought about doing that a couple 1,000 times, I wouldn’t really, actually, *in fact* tie her to the bed. Do you think that would work? Still kidding. Heh.

What to do… what to do. I’m too tired to keep fighting this battle. I want to go get some sleep at some point before midnight! And I want to do it without arguing, fighting, crying, and whining & that’s all on my part.

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),
Ciao

Friday Faves, late Friday but Friday nonetheless!

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You see, what we’ve got here is about three weeks worth of Friday Faves. I know. Don’t even get me started. I’m serious. So moving right along… I’ve got some stuff fer yoouuuuuuu.

A really good thing to remember. Not just during the tough times but even when times are good. Wouldn’t you agree?

Not that I’ve ever watched/read Fight Club but this is an interesting tie-in with parenting.

Movies! Do you like movies? We love movies. But finding one we can come to a consensus on is another story. But here’s a great list all sorted by age group as well.

Cause I always gotta get some LOLcatz in here OR ELSE!
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Oh. Hell. Yeah. accents are hot *cough* that is… there is just something about hearing an accent, I’m just saying.

LOOK what I found! Hilarity and genius all wrapped up in cuteness.

Fantastic picture here if you like sepia tones, which I do, which is why I’ve included it, which should make sense cause this is MY BLOG to do with as I see fit. Oooops, sorry, my inner child just had a tantrum.

OMG I love wearing high heels but this is disturbing. I’m not sure if it will cause me to stop wearing them though I might think about it a little more.

Holy Hell you have to look through these ads. Like this particular one. I mean, really! Funny.

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),
Ciao

Friday Faves

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I’m noticing a pattern developing here. Have you spotted it? Something like my Friday Faves aren’t posting EVERY Friday? Hmmmm? I’ve sunk to a new low… I haven’t posted a FF in THREE WEEKS. Did you notice? Well, uuhhhhhh, if you didn’t notice, then never mind, I never mentioned it. Heh.

As moms, I think we all need to be reminded to cut ourselves some slack on the parenting front. Ya know?

Can you believe this? Wow! I’m seriously impressed with this option for the iPhone. Would you buy one for yours?

And speaking of photography… fantastic ideas for photography for those that might need a bit of assistance gettin’ the good shots.

I’m kinda liking the idea of taking Valium but this book has some parenting tips that apparently beat taking Valium. But what beats taking Valium? I ask you??!

Thanks to the awesome Tyler for this enlightening link in his “Weekly Round Table” post. Who knew?! And who hasn’t wanted to know?!

I feel EXACTLY the same way!
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Silly, silly men. How can they NOT know that each of our sighs mean something different?

And speaking of men… this looks like an excellent read. I might have to consider this book when it comes round to my turn in choosing a book for our book club.

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),
Ciao

Friday Faves

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Hi Friday!! So glad you’re here!! This week’s Friday Faves is SUPERCHARGED only because it is really two Friday Faves in one. I left town last Friday for a weekend bachelorette party and was suitably distracted away from posting my faves for the week. Therefore, you get an awesomely awesome, extra big, with more links post this week. Please to enjoy!

Are you kidding me with this? No? For real someone, a “professional”, made this cake? Hahahahaha!

Interesting. We’re all a bunch of liars? Probably, by that article’s definition.

Oh, yeah, this is one nice piece of property. Too bad for me that I’m not in the market.

Aren’t hedgehogs the cutest????! Squeee!
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I can’t beat the caption on this FU Penguin picture. What is even going on here? I’d like to know…

Given the recent news on swine flu, how do you rank in the Parents vs. Germs war? I’m probably more on the lax than the vigilant side.

And here is another swine flu reference but with more of a comical spin. At least I thought it was comical. And they are spinning.

Thanks to sweetney for introducing this site to me. Check out this hysterical, but wrong on so many levels, first dictionary. Yet, still hysterical.

FAIL!!!! Worse construction of a driveway EVAH! So maybe it’s really a WIN!!
driveway

Debate! Although, I think I’m gonna stay outta this one. And no doubt there will be INTENSE debate over this subject.

Just found Five O’Clock Ninja from twitter – he’s @haavoc if you’re interested – and saw this on his site! Hahahaha. Go on, take a look, it’s funny… especially if you like cute animals doing stupid stuff.

So that wraps up another week. Remember, if you want to do your own Friday Faves, then use the Mister Linky below AND get on it!

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),
Ciao

Friday Faves – Another week, another group of quasi funny things to check out and one really sad thing

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Whoooooohoo, it’s Friday!! So, that means, if I’ve been on task, then I’ll have some Favorites for you to see. And! Since I have some how managed to stay on task, I DO HAVE things for your pleasure of viewing.

Note: I must start this with one extremely sad but important item.
I have been so troubled by the loss of a, far too young, child of people that I don’t even know except through twitter (@mamasphor) & this blog (don’t try to go there right now, they’re having technical difficulty due to the overwhelming response of those of us on the internet. I can not even fathom the loss of a child or the repercussions, reminders, unanswered questions or memories a parent would face daily after such a tragic event. Blognosh posted this in memory of Maddie on Wednesday. Go, read it, and donate to March of Dimes ~if you are so inclined~ on behalf of little Maddie and in support of the Sphors & other families. My heart goes out to Maddie’s family, these words can not even begin to describe my sorrow for your loss.

Now, to return to the regularly scheduled program….

I love the snarkyness of FU Penguin!! And if you have not seen the photos/posts, then get over there right now, I say! Prepare for snark. And insanely adorable animals. Or in this case, insanely jaded.

What? What is that? There might be consequences if I don’t get enough sleep? Get the hell outta here!

Evidently I’m not the only one who isn’t a fan of the Segway. GadgetKing doesn’t like them either… or the new PUMA from GM and Segway.

Love twitter? Love to shop? Run, don’t walk to see shopping for the twitteraholic in all of us. Much cuteness to be had. In fact, I’m thinking I might get one or two of these goodies.

Holy Hell! We’re just making it easier & easier for bank robbers. There once was a time when the robbers had to go IN to a bank and steal money. Now we just let them at it. Well not intentionally. But having EVERYTHING for banking online certainly gives them easier access. Man that shite is scary to think about. Anyway, I’ll be right back, I gotta go pay my credit card bill online.

Thanks Stumbleupon! for introducing me to Project Happily Ever After and in particular this post on 26 Things No One Warned You About Being a Parent. You’ll recognize most of these I’m sure, if you’re a parent, but it’s still hilarious and true.

And finally, thanks to Tyler at Building Camelot for this link to incredible art made from the most unlikely source. Pretty impressive, huh?

Remember, if you like what I’m doing & want to participate, then create your own Friday Fave & add your link to the Mister Linky!!

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),
Ciao