And the winner is….

ME! I win! I win the ‘Most Hateful Mom of the World’ award. How did I win? What did I win? How did you not know that there was even such a contest?! To start, how did I win? I won because I’m the meanest, most horrible mom. What did I win? I won a trip! A Mommy Guilt trip! Just for me. Disclaimer: Sorry this contest was not broadcast state or nationwide.

Well, let me tell you a little bit more of the story….

You see, it all started a long time ago, when my Honey bunny first started “fibbing” to me about brushing & flossing her teeth. This went on for awhile with rewards and/or punishment distributed periodically until the dentist finally had to mandate that she come to the office for check-ups & cleanings every 4 months because her teeth and gums were so badly deteriorating. I’m just gonna say, that my daily nagging was clearly not making a difference cuz she still wasn’t doing it.

Ok! Fast forward to a few days ago when I asked her if she was ready for school, including the usual, EVERY DAY things necessary to be ready for school, e.g., flossing, teeth brushing, face washing, to which she replied “Yes MOM, I’m ready”, and due to the fact that she’s perhaps been less truthful in the past, I asked again (thinking that maybe I’d give her ‘the out’ to come up & complete the tasks if she really hadn’t done them – damn am I an enabler?) but she says to me “WHY DON’T YOU BELIEVE ME?!” *read with whiny voice*

Right. Well, I decide I’d check out the situation in her bathroom sink before jumping to any conclusions. Uh oh. BONE DRY. I MEAN REALLY BONE DRY. Damn it! Now I’m gonna have to do something I really, very much do NOT want to do. What?! You’re probably screaming, what did you do?! I called her to come up to her bathroom and pointed to the Sahara desert that was her sink and asked how she could possibly have washed her face, flossed, and brushed her teeth in that sink. Her response was that it had dried. Suuuuure. At this juncture, I presented exhibit B, her little sister’s bathroom sink which was still wet from when she finished all the morning routine nearly an hour prior.

Shit slowly began to spiral outta control when I tell her that I was gonna have to do something now due to her total lie, that she brought it on herself, and that because she knows what she did was wrong, so on and so forth. I told her that she wouldn’t be able to go to the Halloween dance at school on Friday. Now comes the swirling vortex of crying, begging, pleading, bargaining, and more crying. Oh, just wait, it gets better.

15 minutes it has taken us to have this “conversation”, so now I’m not ready for work and she’s got to get to school before she’s late. I tell her to give me the permission slip & money for the dance. Commence additional wailing, pleading, bargaining (she told me I could take away her CELLPHONE, computer, and TV privileges, if I’d just let her go to the dance – heeyyy, I must have really struck a nerve with this punishment), crying, and the coup de grâce, “YOU HATE ME!!” Ahhhhh, life with an almost teenager. So much fun. Said NO ONE EVER. And now me too. I felt ill and so very sad because I wanted her to go to the dance! And have fun with her friends! But I just couldn’t let it go this time. I had to put my foot down. But damn it if I didn’t feel as horrible about the whole thing as she did. Was I doing the right thing? Will she be scared for the rest of her life? Was I being too harsh? Should her father & I start sleeping with one eye open!?

So! Yesterday. I’m driving her to school and she says to me, “you know my friends told me that I should ask you if there was something that I could do that would make you change your mind about letting me go to the dance…” Me: blah, blah, blah, more useless lecturing that she’s totally not listening to. As she’s getting out of the car she asks me again, “so what’s your answer?” Me: oh, sweetie, I haven’t changed my mind. And then, after school, there’s yet another attempt but this time it includes a request from her Drama teacher to participate in the Haunted House that’s panned for the school dance. “But MOM she wants me to do this!” Me: well that’s unfortunate because you’re not going to the dance. You know what? You gotta give her props for trying!

 

Thanks for listening, or reading (if you must be technical),

Ciao

 

P.S. Last night she mentions to me that her girlfriend is also not going to the dance due to a punishment so MAYBE they could have a sleepover! Bwahahahahaa. Um, no. I’m certain this isn’t over yet. Two more days till the dance. Here’s to hoping I survive.

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Friday Faves – It’s just my faves for the week, ok people, geez, I can’t keep coming up with clever titles

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Happy, happy, joy, joy, happy, happy, joy, joy! Sing along with me people! It’s FRIDAY! No doubt you’re aware of this fact by now. If not, then I don’t think I can help you. Although, I might be able to help you enjoy the remainder of the day with these delightful tidbits. So, go on, read the rest. Please and thank you.

My house has a burglar alarm… it gives me a sense of protection. But what if someone were to break in? That’s sort of what happened to Absolutely Bananas. And her story about the experience is a laugh riot.

Continuing on with my love of hedgehogs… because COME ON PEOPLE look at how cute this thing is!!!!
funny pictures of cats with captions

Do you talk your spouse to death? Apparently silence is the way to save your marriage. Well, according to this post.

Her pain, I feel it. Luckily not as much as before because my gremlins are older now. And I’m getting back to ME! It’s only taken.. oh… 10 + years.

10 Most Unfortunate Store names. Unfortunate for the owners of the stores but not for us!

Interesting post about email chains targeted to & by kids. What are your thoughts? Should kids have their own email? At what age is it appropriate?

Protest signs that are too good to be missed and now you don’t have to cause I’ve sent you the link for your viewing pleasure. You’re welcome.

Last week my little Pumpkin told me that she has an imaginary friend but she doesn’t know her name yet. Seriously, that’s what she told me.

I really enjoy traveling and many of the trips that we’ve taken have been outside the U.S. But I am hesitant to take trips to certain countries because I’m a scaredy cat. Then I found this Travel list of the 10 safest countries. Presto! I now have the next 10 places I want to visit!

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaa. This is awesome.

no-one-cares

Shhhhhhhhh! Your pie chart is gonna get me in trouble.

I’m thinking this cake would be BRILLIANT to have for a Halloween party but perhaps it’s a bit too graphic for the kiddies.

And lastly, I guess I’m a closet geek. Because I LOVE THESE USB flash drives. I can’t even decide which is my favorite. I can’t.

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),
Ciao

Ready, Set, RANDOM

randomtuesday

Well, I’m glad to back home in order to participate in the AWESOME Random Tuesday Thoughts but on the other hand I’d rather be back in Las Vegas enjoying the phenomenal swimming pool at the Hard Rock… but since I’m here & not there, I guess I’ll continue on with this post of randomness.

Crazy weather is driving me crazy. 99 degrees yesterday, 95+ degrees today, then 67 degrees by Friday. The HELL? A 30 degree drop in temperature in two days?? Please decide what you’d like to do Mother Nature cause I can’t take this teasing. Either its 100 degrees and we’re going swimming or its 60 degrees and I’m not going swimming. MmmK?

I am so far behind on things now that I don’t want to stop and truly contemplate how far behind I really am.

This Sunday I’m hosting our monthly book club meeting. I picked the Enchantress of Florence by Salman Rushdie and it has been a challenging read simply because its written in the Grand Story Teller tradition with lots of description and detail from every possible angle plus he uses so many different names for the same characters its slightly confusing. Maybe if I didn’t read 5-10 pages at a time it would flow a bit better. You know what I mean? When you can get INTO a book, settle into the ebb & flow of the writer’s style, and follow along with the transitions smoother. Alas, I am a mother. Hence no amounts of LIMITLESS time to read a book from start to finish. Unless I want to stay up until 4 am.

Anywhoooo, the party is at my house this Sunday and we’re having wine & cheese. I’m getting so excited to sample lots of different cheeses & wine – especially the wine and lots of it. *sigh* Wine.

Sitting at Pumpkin’s karate class in the sweltering heat with a blazing laptop burning up my legs, hmmm, maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.

Next weekend is the bachelorette party of a friend of mine and its more like a bachelorette weekend cause we’re renting a house from Friday to Sunday. It’s gonna be awesome, no it’s gonna be beyond awesome, it’s BEYAWESOME!! Not to mention I recently tried Three Olives Vodka in Grape and it was deliciousness in a bottle. Never tried it? You must! Right now! Well maybe not right now, now, but as soon as you can. You’ll thank me. They also have flavors of Raspberry, Chocolate, Pomegranate, Tomato, Cherry, and Passion Fruit. I’ve purchased Passion Fruit, Chocolate, and Grape for the weekend. Hopefully it will be enough. We might drink that the first night. Hahahahahha. I hope so anyway.

Just have to mention again how much fun the Hard Rock swimming pool is with the winding river, waterfalls, swim-up gaming tables, a rockin’ DJ, and amazing looking people EVERYWHERE (not me but all the other people). Good times, good times.

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),

Ciao