And the winner is….

ME! I win! I win the ‘Most Hateful Mom of the World’ award. How did I win? What did I win? How did you not know that there was even such a contest?! To start, how did I win? I won because I’m the meanest, most horrible mom. What did I win? I won a trip! A Mommy Guilt trip! Just for me. Disclaimer: Sorry this contest was not broadcast state or nationwide.

Well, let me tell you a little bit more of the story….

You see, it all started a long time ago, when my Honey bunny first started “fibbing” to me about brushing & flossing her teeth. This went on for awhile with rewards and/or punishment distributed periodically until the dentist finally had to mandate that she come to the office for check-ups & cleanings every 4 months because her teeth and gums were so badly deteriorating. I’m just gonna say, that my daily nagging was clearly not making a difference cuz she still wasn’t doing it.

Ok! Fast forward to a few days ago when I asked her if she was ready for school, including the usual, EVERY DAY things necessary to be ready for school, e.g., flossing, teeth brushing, face washing, to which she replied “Yes MOM, I’m ready”, and due to the fact that she’s perhaps been less truthful in the past, I asked again (thinking that maybe I’d give her ‘the out’ to come up & complete the tasks if she really hadn’t done them – damn am I an enabler?) but she says to me “WHY DON’T YOU BELIEVE ME?!” *read with whiny voice*

Right. Well, I decide I’d check out the situation in her bathroom sink before jumping to any conclusions. Uh oh. BONE DRY. I MEAN REALLY BONE DRY. Damn it! Now I’m gonna have to do something I really, very much do NOT want to do. What?! You’re probably screaming, what did you do?! I called her to come up to her bathroom and pointed to the Sahara desert that was her sink and asked how she could possibly have washed her face, flossed, and brushed her teeth in that sink. Her response was that it had dried. Suuuuure. At this juncture, I presented exhibit B, her little sister’s bathroom sink which was still wet from when she finished all the morning routine nearly an hour prior.

Shit slowly began to spiral outta control when I tell her that I was gonna have to do something now due to her total lie, that she brought it on herself, and that because she knows what she did was wrong, so on and so forth. I told her that she wouldn’t be able to go to the Halloween dance at school on Friday. Now comes the swirling vortex of crying, begging, pleading, bargaining, and more crying. Oh, just wait, it gets better.

15 minutes it has taken us to have this “conversation”, so now I’m not ready for work and she’s got to get to school before she’s late. I tell her to give me the permission slip & money for the dance. Commence additional wailing, pleading, bargaining (she told me I could take away her CELLPHONE, computer, and TV privileges, if I’d just let her go to the dance – heeyyy, I must have really struck a nerve with this punishment), crying, and the coup de grâce, “YOU HATE ME!!” Ahhhhh, life with an almost teenager. So much fun. Said NO ONE EVER. And now me too. I felt ill and so very sad because I wanted her to go to the dance! And have fun with her friends! But I just couldn’t let it go this time. I had to put my foot down. But damn it if I didn’t feel as horrible about the whole thing as she did. Was I doing the right thing? Will she be scared for the rest of her life? Was I being too harsh? Should her father & I start sleeping with one eye open!?

So! Yesterday. I’m driving her to school and she says to me, “you know my friends told me that I should ask you if there was something that I could do that would make you change your mind about letting me go to the dance…” Me: blah, blah, blah, more useless lecturing that she’s totally not listening to. As she’s getting out of the car she asks me again, “so what’s your answer?” Me: oh, sweetie, I haven’t changed my mind. And then, after school, there’s yet another attempt but this time it includes a request from her Drama teacher to participate in the Haunted House that’s panned for the school dance. “But MOM she wants me to do this!” Me: well that’s unfortunate because you’re not going to the dance. You know what? You gotta give her props for trying!

 

Thanks for listening, or reading (if you must be technical),

Ciao

 

P.S. Last night she mentions to me that her girlfriend is also not going to the dance due to a punishment so MAYBE they could have a sleepover! Bwahahahahaa. Um, no. I’m certain this isn’t over yet. Two more days till the dance. Here’s to hoping I survive.

Friday Faves – Good stuff I found this week, that is, good stuff I found this week according to ME!

friday-faves-original

Well, lookey here, it’s Friday. I’m sure you’re all excited about that fact. I know I am. Which, in the history of worst transitions, leads me to my faves for the week… on Friday. And just as the title states, these are MY faves for the week. You may or may not fave them also. This is your right. I’m pretty sure we still have rights, right? But I’m not gonna get political on Friday, of all days. At least not this week.

I have to start this post out on a serious note. Have you been following all the shite on Polanski? Blech. Sorry I just threw up in my mouth. What he did was absolutely unacceptable. And thanks to Herbadmother for writing this post and also summing up my feelings on the subject.

This was me as a kid and sort of how Honey bunny acts when it comes time for a karate tournament.

I loved reading this post since I’ve been feeling very transitional-y, as of late.

Interesting survey results although I’m not entirely surprised by what was discovered.

Do you like sarcasm? I like sarcasm. How about some sarcasm on cakes? Do you think you’d like that? Why do I feel like I’m gonna bust out with some Green Eggs and Ham?

Are you a jewelry fiend like me? Yes? Well, then, you must check out this beautiful handcrafted jewelry from a twitter friend I follow.

OMG OMG OMG Hedgehogs! But seriously how adorable are her illustrations?

Sort of made me wanna be sick all over my keyboard. Except the dessert stuffs. I could eat lots of dessert stuffs. Especially with caramel sauce. =)

Bet you’ve felt this way a time or two… I certainly know I have.
funny pictures of cats with captions

Are you kidding?! This is news to people?? OF COURSE parents lie to their children. Sheesh.

Always something to worry about that causes cancer or is suspected to cause cancer. May I speak frankly? CANCER can SUCKIT!!!! There are far too many people I know that are battling cancer right now. Including my own father. And I’m still not entirely ready to talk about it here.

I’m not even sure what to say about this. Other than, amazing photos from the past & present blended together.

As always, the hilarious Bloggess hits another one out of the park. I adore the list of Alternate versions of the title for The Little Engine that Could.

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),
Ciao

The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth

We’ve been having a slight challenge with Honey bunny telling us the truth about stuff. Even the most mundane things. Did you eat the last blueberry muffin? Have you finished your homework for today? Did you put your clean clothes away? Have you brushed your teeth yet? This morning it was about how much money the “tooth fairy” gave her for losing another tooth.
Now, I happen to know how much money the “tooth fairy” left under her pillow but when the husband & I asked her how much she scored for the tooth, she proceeded to tell us that she got four quarters. Wha huh??!! Uh, no you didn’t.

So, here is the sticky part. We know she actually got two $1 bills from the “tooth fairy” but obviously we can’t outright say you’re lying kid, we know how much it was, and it wasn’t no four quarters. And it’s not like we can keep grilling her about it. Well, we let it slide for the time being but as the husband was driving her to school, he told her that he was going to have Mommy send an email to the “tooth fairy” to find out how much money was left for the tooth. To which she replied, have Mommy ask the tooth fairy what she does with the teeth after she takes them away. Ok, this kid has nerve.

If you get right down to the heart of this, we aren’t telling her the truth either. We expect her to be completely truthful with us but we lie to her everyday about Christmas & Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy. I suppose you could say these are harmless things, just cute stories that are made up for children but ultimately it’s lying. That’s a topic for discussion another day. Let me tell you what happened after I picked her up from school….

As usual she is to start on her homework right away, well she did that without any arguments (for a change!). The husband came into my office and asked if we were ready to talk with her about what the “tooth fairy” had said in the email. I began by telling her that the “tooth fairy” told me she had left two $1 bills under her pillow and I asked her why she said she got four quarters.

Honey bunny: “Well I think because four quarters equals one dollar I maybe got them confused.”
Me: “Oooookkk, what about the fact that there were actually TWO dollars not just ONE dollar?”
Honey bunny: “I think what happened is that I maybe didn’t move the money to see that there was actually two of them”
Me: (thinking to myself) damn this kid’s gonna be a lawyer or really good criminal – Heaven forbid. “So you just picked the money up & folded it & then put it in your money jar?”
Honey bunny: “Yeah, I think that’s what happened”
Me (looking at the husband & communicating telepathically) this was a complete waste of time.

Clearly we never got to the bottom of the “tooth fairy” money & we’ve established that our child is a really good story fabricator who is excellent at following along with leading questions.

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),

Ciao