Hair roller hell or how I almost had to cut my kid’s hair outta rollers

I know I’m not the only Mom to which this situation has happened. But it’s never happened to me before! I nearly had to cut out 10 hair rollers from my Little Pumpkin’s hair!! All because of the BLEEPITY BLEEPING BLEEP hair rollers were all tangled in her hair!! And we had FIVE minutes before she had to leave for school! And I was panicking!! And she was screaming!! And there was crying!! And OMG HELP US!! I felt horrible, absolutely terrible about the whole ordeal. Her poor little scalp. Not to mention her psyche.

Well, despite all the screaming and crying it turned out all right. I was finally able to get her hair untangled from the roller’s teeth (which were really the culprits all along) WITHOUT cutting her hair at random points. Damn, that would have been a real nightmare. Probably these rollers weren’t meant for her length of hair anyway because of the teeth. Really, the damn things were given to my gremlins to pretend play beauty salon (or whatever) and I should have just thrown them away a long time ago. Which is EXACTLY what I did as soon as the husband & Pumpkin were on their way to school.

I just have to add, I did try to warn her about these particular rollers when I was putting them in her hair. We also have the foamy, squishy kind that DON’T get tangled in hair. But NOOOOO, she wanted to have these ones put in. So, lesson learned. Hopefully. What lesson do I hope that she learned? LISTEN to your mother. What lesson did I learn? Push your argument a little stronger.  Maybe, she’ll listen. Or most likely, she’ll still want her own way. What am I gonna do? She’s got a determined personality. Much like her mother & father.

 

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),

Ciao

Heaven help us

We're gonna have an official teenager in our midst very, very soon. GAH!! Oh, sure we've been getting the tween attitude for a while now but my Honey bunny is officially turning teen in less than 3 days. You know what scares me about this whole situation, beyond the typical teenagery stuff, she has internet access! She knows the name of my blog! At any point in time she can type in the url, be whizzed away, and read EVERY LAST THING I've written about her, her sister, myself, and at times, her father on this VERY BLOG!! Not to mention the random posts about whathaveyou, that until this point in time I've never worried about her reading.

NOW! Now, I am most assuredly freaking out. Probably there is no reason to have a conniption fit before the fact. I just tend to do that sort of thing, you understand.

But I digress, my baby is becoming a teenager. The HELL. My BABY is becoming a teenager. Hold on a sec while I process that thought… Ok, I'm back.

The two of us have been party planning for awhile now. It's a delicate balance between kids party and non-kids party. She decided to invite some boys this year. Oooooohh! I know. Boys!! The husband & I are figuring that we'll be kept on our toes by this gathering since it's at our house. She wondered out-loud to me, what if there's an awkward moment or we don't know what to say. So we've been detailing what to do for the whole time to try to minimize any weirdness. I hope for her sake that this party is fun for her & her friends.

I'm so proud of her and all she's accomplished in her life to-date. I'm sure I'll be even more proud of her in the years to come. Probably we won't always get along in these up-coming years but it'll no doubt be interesting!

Happy 13th birthday to my Honey bunny!!

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),

Ciao

 

And the winner is….

ME! I win! I win the ‘Most Hateful Mom of the World’ award. How did I win? What did I win? How did you not know that there was even such a contest?! To start, how did I win? I won because I’m the meanest, most horrible mom. What did I win? I won a trip! A Mommy Guilt trip! Just for me. Disclaimer: Sorry this contest was not broadcast state or nationwide.

Well, let me tell you a little bit more of the story….

You see, it all started a long time ago, when my Honey bunny first started “fibbing” to me about brushing & flossing her teeth. This went on for awhile with rewards and/or punishment distributed periodically until the dentist finally had to mandate that she come to the office for check-ups & cleanings every 4 months because her teeth and gums were so badly deteriorating. I’m just gonna say, that my daily nagging was clearly not making a difference cuz she still wasn’t doing it.

Ok! Fast forward to a few days ago when I asked her if she was ready for school, including the usual, EVERY DAY things necessary to be ready for school, e.g., flossing, teeth brushing, face washing, to which she replied “Yes MOM, I’m ready”, and due to the fact that she’s perhaps been less truthful in the past, I asked again (thinking that maybe I’d give her ‘the out’ to come up & complete the tasks if she really hadn’t done them – damn am I an enabler?) but she says to me “WHY DON’T YOU BELIEVE ME?!” *read with whiny voice*

Right. Well, I decide I’d check out the situation in her bathroom sink before jumping to any conclusions. Uh oh. BONE DRY. I MEAN REALLY BONE DRY. Damn it! Now I’m gonna have to do something I really, very much do NOT want to do. What?! You’re probably screaming, what did you do?! I called her to come up to her bathroom and pointed to the Sahara desert that was her sink and asked how she could possibly have washed her face, flossed, and brushed her teeth in that sink. Her response was that it had dried. Suuuuure. At this juncture, I presented exhibit B, her little sister’s bathroom sink which was still wet from when she finished all the morning routine nearly an hour prior.

Shit slowly began to spiral outta control when I tell her that I was gonna have to do something now due to her total lie, that she brought it on herself, and that because she knows what she did was wrong, so on and so forth. I told her that she wouldn’t be able to go to the Halloween dance at school on Friday. Now comes the swirling vortex of crying, begging, pleading, bargaining, and more crying. Oh, just wait, it gets better.

15 minutes it has taken us to have this “conversation”, so now I’m not ready for work and she’s got to get to school before she’s late. I tell her to give me the permission slip & money for the dance. Commence additional wailing, pleading, bargaining (she told me I could take away her CELLPHONE, computer, and TV privileges, if I’d just let her go to the dance – heeyyy, I must have really struck a nerve with this punishment), crying, and the coup de grâce, “YOU HATE ME!!” Ahhhhh, life with an almost teenager. So much fun. Said NO ONE EVER. And now me too. I felt ill and so very sad because I wanted her to go to the dance! And have fun with her friends! But I just couldn’t let it go this time. I had to put my foot down. But damn it if I didn’t feel as horrible about the whole thing as she did. Was I doing the right thing? Will she be scared for the rest of her life? Was I being too harsh? Should her father & I start sleeping with one eye open!?

So! Yesterday. I’m driving her to school and she says to me, “you know my friends told me that I should ask you if there was something that I could do that would make you change your mind about letting me go to the dance…” Me: blah, blah, blah, more useless lecturing that she’s totally not listening to. As she’s getting out of the car she asks me again, “so what’s your answer?” Me: oh, sweetie, I haven’t changed my mind. And then, after school, there’s yet another attempt but this time it includes a request from her Drama teacher to participate in the Haunted House that’s panned for the school dance. “But MOM she wants me to do this!” Me: well that’s unfortunate because you’re not going to the dance. You know what? You gotta give her props for trying!

 

Thanks for listening, or reading (if you must be technical),

Ciao

 

P.S. Last night she mentions to me that her girlfriend is also not going to the dance due to a punishment so MAYBE they could have a sleepover! Bwahahahahaa. Um, no. I’m certain this isn’t over yet. Two more days till the dance. Here’s to hoping I survive.

Friday Faves – Dope shite, right?!

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It seems wrong to try to be funny on such a day but when you think about how humor can heal, then it doesn’t seem so wrong. With that being said, please enjoy the following….

For the last few months I’ve been using Firefox for my browser instead of IE and Oh.My.God. is it so much better. No more crashes, haven’t lost stuff I was reading/working on, plus the fun of all the add-ons! Anyway… when I saw this I figured it was too cute not to include!
funny pictures of cats with captions

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, THIS WOMAN is a genius!!!! I had stomach pains from laughing so hard while reading this. And I just read it again and laughed really hard quietly to myself because I’m sorta supposed to be working on the bank reconciliation and the husband is in his office right next door so will totally know that I’m f-cking around instead of working. HI HONEY! Cause now that you’re reading this you really know what I was doing while pretending to be working. Heh. I’m gonna get so much shit for this.

Knowledge is power right? So now you know how to keep from sleeping with these buggers! Plus, if your house is anything like our house and EVERYONE has allergies & asthma, then this info is a real bonus.

What do you think about getting your kid a cellphone? Honey bunny bugs me for one EVERY DAMN DAY. And she gives me a list of all her friends that have one already each and every time she asks for a cellphone. What the hell is with people that give their 4th graders or younger cellphones? I mean the thing is adorable but still do kids need to be able to post to blogs from their phone? Hell NO. Me, yes, I need to be able to post to blogs from my cellphone – my kid? NO. I’m selfish like that.

I have no guts. Far too chicken to do this. But Keely has done it fantastically well, now I don’t have to! Would you? Would you want to? Stay tuned for more in her series. Probably.

Wow, I generally prefer a smidge of subtlety from my hotel room sign … but you have to admit this is a riot. Not to mention that it’s kinda a coincidence that it came from a website called Daily Shite. I SWEAR I named my post before I found their website from a tweet by @subrbanoblivion.

Me likey. Now, if I could only learn how to take pictures this fantastically well.

You’ve probably seen this list previously, hell, I’ve seen this list previously in email forwards from my friends but it struck my funny-bone the other night and I COULD NOT stop laughing. YAHTZEE!

Speaking of laughing, I laughed right out loud the entire time I was reading this post. If you’re a guy, then it might not be as comical as it is for us ladies. Just sayin’.

And lastly, this possibly unpatriotic post from Cake Wrecks. WTF?

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),
Ciao

Friday Faves – the socially conscious, political, artsy, foodie edition with cats

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Happy Friday to you, happy Friday to you, happy Friday, happy Friday, happy Friday to you!!! Sure this is the birthday song but who gives a F—. We’re all happy that its Friday, right?! And I’m thrilled that its Friday because that means I get to share my favorite things I found this week on the interwebz. Let us begin, shall we? Yes, lets!

This is truly one of my favorite icanhascheezburger photos because my friends & I love to photobomb each other in pictures taken at parties or other events. And this is exactly like one of the bombs we’d do to each other! So, therefore, completely apropos.
funny pictures of cats with captions

Here here! Well said! Glad someone has the words to express what I’ve been feeling about this whole ridiculous nonsense. Usually I try to stay out of political discussions because it generally turns into a battle of who can yell louder. But seriously people we have a sh*tload of significant issues facing this country. If you want to do something about it, then do something more than criticize the President. Get involved in your community, city, state, and DO SOMETHING to help alleviate the challenges that face US ALL.

This probably wouldn’t end well. But it sure would be a lot of fun in the process.

Hilarious. Fabulous way to say that which many bloggers feel but usually don’t have the eloquence. Also, it’s a damn good thing I’m one of the subscribers or I’d never known he’d posted! Whew.

Interesting website that I came across this week.

Brilliant Earth and it’s a brilliant idea.

The problem with this is that I can’t eat it. And we all know how much I love chocolate!

Incredibly cool and makes me wish that I could draw. Looking at her drawings makes me believe that I could just pick up a pencil & start drawing. Ahahahaha, that’s highly unlikely.

Who’da thunk it?! I’d never have guessed this thing improves your memory. Why hasn’t it helped me?

A post that really ‘spoke’ to me and I really hate using the expression ” ‘spoke’ to me” but its true. Oh, and also an interesting read.

I can say with all certainty that I wish I hadn’t found this website. It’s all The Unmom’s fault. And I’ll say the same thing she said. I dare you to go. But be aware that you may be very unhappy about what you find out. I know I was, well, am – really.

Look what I found thanks to Carissa’s post. My, oh my, is the timing great on finding this book.

Completely and totally out of the question! I don’t care if they’re intended to be funny or ironical or whathaveyou. No.

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),
Ciao

Friday Faves, late Friday but Friday nonetheless!

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You see, what we’ve got here is about three weeks worth of Friday Faves. I know. Don’t even get me started. I’m serious. So moving right along… I’ve got some stuff fer yoouuuuuuu.

A really good thing to remember. Not just during the tough times but even when times are good. Wouldn’t you agree?

Not that I’ve ever watched/read Fight Club but this is an interesting tie-in with parenting.

Movies! Do you like movies? We love movies. But finding one we can come to a consensus on is another story. But here’s a great list all sorted by age group as well.

Cause I always gotta get some LOLcatz in here OR ELSE!
funny pictures of cats with captions

Oh. Hell. Yeah. accents are hot *cough* that is… there is just something about hearing an accent, I’m just saying.

LOOK what I found! Hilarity and genius all wrapped up in cuteness.

Fantastic picture here if you like sepia tones, which I do, which is why I’ve included it, which should make sense cause this is MY BLOG to do with as I see fit. Oooops, sorry, my inner child just had a tantrum.

OMG I love wearing high heels but this is disturbing. I’m not sure if it will cause me to stop wearing them though I might think about it a little more.

Holy Hell you have to look through these ads. Like this particular one. I mean, really! Funny.

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),
Ciao

Pictures of life with kids

I want to start this off by saying that firstly, I’m really quite awful at photography, which you’ll be able to deduce from these pictures and secondly, I’m even worse at photoshop so not only are these  poorly  photographed pictures of stuff, they’re also poorly edited, cropped, color corrected, and all that other crap.  So please accept my apologies and know that my intentions are pure.  Thank you for your time.  End PSA.

OK, it all started with my friend over at Building Camelot. You see, he decided to take pictures of life with kids as sort of a chronicling of the stuff that is in our lives because we have children.  He happened upon one of my WW photos and complimented me on said photo. Well, that was all I needed to jump on board. Here is a new installment in, what I hope will be, a recurring series for me. Please to enjoy!

 **I swear I did not set this up.  Pumpkin brought them into my bathroom to play while I was getting ready.  She promptly ran out of the room to go make a mess somewhere else  find her sister.

**This playground is actually outside of a local mall.  I took this one the day that the husband was buying my new iPhone.  Well, technically he was buying it to take it apart, then he was going to give it to me once it was all put back together.

**Although it’s been a couple years since this occurred I had to share it.  This is a photo of my office.  See that recycle box next to the playpen, yeah, that’s where all the papers came from.  I finally learned my lesson after a few months of picking up papers everyday.  I know, I said a few months, nobody said I was a quick learner.

**Art a la 3 yr old!  Pumpkin did this random water color paints on paper, then proceded to spill the water on part of the art, thereby giving it this warped look.

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),
Ciao