And the winner is….

ME! I win! I win the ‘Most Hateful Mom of the World’ award. How did I win? What did I win? How did you not know that there was even such a contest?! To start, how did I win? I won because I’m the meanest, most horrible mom. What did I win? I won a trip! A Mommy Guilt trip! Just for me. Disclaimer: Sorry this contest was not broadcast state or nationwide.

Well, let me tell you a little bit more of the story….

You see, it all started a long time ago, when my Honey bunny first started “fibbing” to me about brushing & flossing her teeth. This went on for awhile with rewards and/or punishment distributed periodically until the dentist finally had to mandate that she come to the office for check-ups & cleanings every 4 months because her teeth and gums were so badly deteriorating. I’m just gonna say, that my daily nagging was clearly not making a difference cuz she still wasn’t doing it.

Ok! Fast forward to a few days ago when I asked her if she was ready for school, including the usual, EVERY DAY things necessary to be ready for school, e.g., flossing, teeth brushing, face washing, to which she replied “Yes MOM, I’m ready”, and due to the fact that she’s perhaps been less truthful in the past, I asked again (thinking that maybe I’d give her ‘the out’ to come up & complete the tasks if she really hadn’t done them – damn am I an enabler?) but she says to me “WHY DON’T YOU BELIEVE ME?!” *read with whiny voice*

Right. Well, I decide I’d check out the situation in her bathroom sink before jumping to any conclusions. Uh oh. BONE DRY. I MEAN REALLY BONE DRY. Damn it! Now I’m gonna have to do something I really, very much do NOT want to do. What?! You’re probably screaming, what did you do?! I called her to come up to her bathroom and pointed to the Sahara desert that was her sink and asked how she could possibly have washed her face, flossed, and brushed her teeth in that sink. Her response was that it had dried. Suuuuure. At this juncture, I presented exhibit B, her little sister’s bathroom sink which was still wet from when she finished all the morning routine nearly an hour prior.

Shit slowly began to spiral outta control when I tell her that I was gonna have to do something now due to her total lie, that she brought it on herself, and that because she knows what she did was wrong, so on and so forth. I told her that she wouldn’t be able to go to the Halloween dance at school on Friday. Now comes the swirling vortex of crying, begging, pleading, bargaining, and more crying. Oh, just wait, it gets better.

15 minutes it has taken us to have this “conversation”, so now I’m not ready for work and she’s got to get to school before she’s late. I tell her to give me the permission slip & money for the dance. Commence additional wailing, pleading, bargaining (she told me I could take away her CELLPHONE, computer, and TV privileges, if I’d just let her go to the dance – heeyyy, I must have really struck a nerve with this punishment), crying, and the coup de grâce, “YOU HATE ME!!” Ahhhhh, life with an almost teenager. So much fun. Said NO ONE EVER. And now me too. I felt ill and so very sad because I wanted her to go to the dance! And have fun with her friends! But I just couldn’t let it go this time. I had to put my foot down. But damn it if I didn’t feel as horrible about the whole thing as she did. Was I doing the right thing? Will she be scared for the rest of her life? Was I being too harsh? Should her father & I start sleeping with one eye open!?

So! Yesterday. I’m driving her to school and she says to me, “you know my friends told me that I should ask you if there was something that I could do that would make you change your mind about letting me go to the dance…” Me: blah, blah, blah, more useless lecturing that she’s totally not listening to. As she’s getting out of the car she asks me again, “so what’s your answer?” Me: oh, sweetie, I haven’t changed my mind. And then, after school, there’s yet another attempt but this time it includes a request from her Drama teacher to participate in the Haunted House that’s panned for the school dance. “But MOM she wants me to do this!” Me: well that’s unfortunate because you’re not going to the dance. You know what? You gotta give her props for trying!

 

Thanks for listening, or reading (if you must be technical),

Ciao

 

P.S. Last night she mentions to me that her girlfriend is also not going to the dance due to a punishment so MAYBE they could have a sleepover! Bwahahahahaa. Um, no. I’m certain this isn’t over yet. Two more days till the dance. Here’s to hoping I survive.

Glimpse into the future

**Note: This post was written back in April! I found it in draft mode & finally finished it. Busy much?! The sentiment remain true regardless of the date.**

I've been given a glimpse into my future. Yes, it's true. “How?”, you may ask. And no, I didn't go see a psychic or some such thing. I'll tell you how. The other day the husband and I dropped our two gremlins off to spend a few days with the grandparents. Hallelujah for grandparents!! Seriously. Without them, we would never be able to do anything. Oh, sure, we could find a babysitter for an occasional night out but nothing like this… Five nights and five days of being off the parenting hook, if you will.

So, back to how I've seen my future, I've just spent the whole day doing WHATEVER I want to do! I went and had a pedicure done yesterday, had spa treatments done today, and tomorrow the husband & I are flying out to Las Vegas for some REAL adult fun. Gambling, drinking, dancing, dining at fancy restaurants that have even fancier names, and more gambling! Yeah, I know, we're probably going to hell but at least we'll have good company.

See, the thing is I'm CERTAIN I'll miss my girlies when they're not living at home with us, however that time is not now. I enjoy the breaks that we get to take from each other and truth be told the gremlins love it too because they're endlessly spoiled by their grandparents. I'm pretty sure they're happier with the grandparents than with us. And why wouldn't they be?! They're getting everything they want, whenever they want it. Practically on a silver platter!

I guess I'll just have to be patient and yet again savor the now for I know that only too soon it'll be the future and I'll miss these crazy child rearing days.

 

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),

Ciao!

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle or more like reuse, recycle and reuse again

The title of this post might lead you to believe that I’m gonna discuss how to be good to planet Earth. But you’d be WRONG! I don’t really care about the planet. I kid, I kid. I care a little. Ok, so really this is an idea that I picked up from Enna’s blog and specifically her post “Pork from a year ago”. It got me thinking that I should reminisce about the past some more and maybe share with you good folks a few of my posts from the past. Sort of like ghosts from the past. But less ghostly. It only took me months to complete. Heh.

Now, are you starting to get the tie-in with my title? You all have brains, I’m sure I don’t need to explain it anymore. Reading through these old post also reminds me that there once was a time when I actually wrote posts with a central topic, a beginning, a middle, and an end. Oh well. Life is busier now. And I don’t have as much time to focus on my writing.

I’ll start this out with a post from my other blog that I seem to have forgotten existed until a nice person commented on this post about growing up. The scary thing is it was from nearly 3 freakin’ years ago. Holy mother of —. THREE years. And the angst that I was feeling then has multiplied by infinity. You can do the math.

This post is one in which I frustrate my daughter. Mwahahahahaha. I’m so glad I get to torture her every now and again.

Still haven’t figured out how to keep everyone from yelling at each other.

How about this… mommy has a tantrum the likes of which no one has ever seen before. I still haven’t gotten my time out.

Bedtime = funtime or not really. Although I must say, it is getting a smidge easier since Pumpkin is getting older.

In which I have to have the talk with Honey bunny.

I need a wife to do my laundry cause I really don’t like to do laundry. But then who in their right mind likes to do laundry?

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),
Ciao

Tuesday random thoughts

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Welcome to the new year! And the first RTT of the year 2010. I’m sure, like many of you, I’m still adjusting to saying/writing 2010. Wild. Not like I didn’t see it coming or something. It’s just mind blowing that we’re here already. Just reinforces my belief that time is flying by on one of those flying cars that we’re all supposed to be driving by now. Heh.

Gah! I don’t want to write thank you cards. I managed to get out of Christmas cards by doing a photo card through email. Heard of Smilebox? No? I hadn’t either until I decided I didn’t want to have to address, stamp, lick, and write a gazillion cards. Seriously easy system & I had it done in a few minutes. Now I just need to figure out how to do my thank you cards that same way.

Apparently, my little Pumpkin wants to be a cheerleader after she finishes karate… 6 years from now. I just found this out myself during her karate class today. She’s always good for some chuckles.

Speaking of karate, Honey bunny has another chance to break a board that will enable her to continue on with her group to black belt testing this summer. If she doesn’t break it this time, then she’ll move to the January 2011 group. No matter what happens, it is how it is because that’s the way it was meant to be.

This morning while I was driving Pumpkin to school she started having a conniption fit because she wanted to take her jacket off while she was strapped down in her car seat. So she proceeded to get herself all tangled up and she was forced to endure that state for the remainder of the ride to school. Needless to say, she didn’t like it. I’m sure I could have pulled off to the side of the road at some point and fixed the whole thing but I had warned her what would happen if she attempted to remove her jacket. I didn’t pull over. I remembered something that my friend has told me over and over, “It is our job as parents to frustrate the hell out of our kids. Life is frustrating and they need to learn how to deal with frustrations as early as possible.” Let me tell you it was HARD listening to her frustration, anger, and tears. It took every ounce of my strength NOT to pull the car over to help her. Seemed like the longest three minutes of my life. And no, I’m not joking, it was really only three minutes but damn did it feel like eternity.

Getting old sucks beyond all sucking! I’ve gone and jacked up my back in some new fashion while exercising this morning. SUPER.

Happily, though, I’m dropping those extra pounds I put on during Christmas and New Years when I couldn’t seem to leave a piece of food uneaten. I heard a quote from Kate Moss yesterday that it’s her belief that no food tastes as good as skinny feels. OK! Before you blast me about Kate Moss being too skinny and blah blah blah, she makes a good point. I REALLY enjoy being able to fit in a size of clothes that I haven’t worn in approx. 20 years. No, unfortunately, I’m not exaggerating. Between getting married, getting lazy, getting pregnant ~twice, being busy, and being more lazy, I put on a “few” extra lbs. Well, not anymore! And so, that is why I’m going to repeat IN MY HEAD (just in case you were thinking I’d go around saying it out loud) “no food tastes as good as skinny feels”.

This is the first year in maybe 4 years that we aren’t going to CES in Las Vegas. I’m kinda sad. I really like all the techno gadgets and stuff. Seeing all the latest products from all the top companies was always cool. Plus, I love Las Vegas. So despite being extremely busy, I still wish we were going. We’ve had some excellent times at CES & in Las Vegas more specifically. Perhaps next year we’ll go. To CES. We can’t go more than a few months without going to Las Vegas! I flew 6 times last year and 5 of those flights were to Las Vegas.

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),
Ciao

Tuesday randomness, baby!

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Aaaaaaaaand here we are again. It’s Tuesday. That means I get to spew some randomness all over this post for you to enjoy, if you will.

I have a raging headache that is like a herd of cattle wearing metal spikes on their hooves while stomping on my brain directly behind my left eye. Good fun people, good fun.

How is it possible that there are only two days left in the year? WTH happened to the other 11 months and 29 days?

I’m officially four months behind on reconciling bank statements. But I’m slowly making forward progress! And frankly, that’s all I can ask for at this point.

Going to see the Sherlock Holmes movie with the husband, sister, and friend tomorrow night! Have you seen it? It’s supposed to be really good. I’m excited about seeing this movie.

On Sunday I took the gremlins to see The Princess and the Frog. LOVED IT! I could see it again about 30 more times. Really.

Probably I’ll be taking down the Christmas decorations this weekend as this week is completely booked with work and other events. Seriously NOT at all excited about doing this. And wasn’t it just yesterday that I was putting all the decorations up?

Speaking of Christmas, we got some fantastic gifts from Santa this year. Including the wii, wii fit & rock band for the wii. Squeeeeeee! We’ve been having a blast playing with all the games and testing out all the instruments.

Still reeling from this happening the other day.

Pumpkin has crawled into my bed every day for the last week somewhere between 4-5 AM and it’s kickin my butt. I need SLEEP. Cause lets be real. You can’t sleep right when a 4 yr old is elbowing you or kneeing your back or smothering you with half their body. Am I right? I’m right.

No doubt like everyone else, I’ve eaten my weight in food over the last week. No? You haven’t? Oh, damn. You mean it’s just me? Heh. And haven’t been exercising. Partly that’s due to a back problem I’m re experiencing. One of those nights that Pumpkin strolled into our bedroom I decided that I just couldn’t put up with it so I went to pick her up to carry her back to her bed when I heard a snap, crackle, pop sound from my back. Not what ya wanna hear. It’s been bothering me ever since. Last time I had this issue I had to take Cortisone pills to get the disc off of the nerve in my spine & back into it’s proper place. We shall see how this ends.

Thank you for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),
Ciao

What? Wait?! What did you say?

So Christmas was last week, as I’m sure you all recall. Santa brought us a wii, wii fit & rock band ~all in all a great score of gifts as far as I’m concerned. There’s another story in there but I don’t have time to go into it all right now. Perhaps at another time. The reason for this post is to share the wonderful story of how… hold up I’m getting ahead of myself a little… let me step back and tell you about it from start to finish.

Since getting the wii, wii fit & rock band we’ve been playing these games just about non-stop. And having a blast while doing it, I might add. I suggested to Honey bunny that we try the wii golf. They have a 3-hole practice mode & I figured that would be a good start instead of doing the 9-hole game which would take waaaaaaay too much time, attention, and energy from both of us.

Anyway, so we got started and it was going along just fine until she got to a more challenging hole. Yep, that’s when it got *ahem* interesting. See, she was getting a little frustrated that she couldn’t get the ball around a tree (and what I find amusing about this is how realistic that scenario is… how many golfers get pissed when they’re stuck behind a tree or in a sand trap and they can’t get around/out?).

OK, what came next is really the crux of this post… so she says somewhat under her breath, “I hate it when the fuckin’ thing…” Uh huh, you read that right. My 9 YEAR OLD daughter said “fuckin”.

I looked at her and she looked at me. I asked her as calmly as possible, “did you actually just say what I think you said?” Immediately she runs over to me, throws her arms around me, and begins crying, “oh mommy, I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry!” I had flashbacks from the movie ‘A Christmas Story’. Well, I didn’t handle it quite like they did in the movie. I thought about putting soap in her mouth, I thought about sending her to her room, I thought about grounding her for a week but I didn’t do any of those things. Instead, I hugged her really tight and then had her look me in the face while I asked her not to say that kind of thing EVER AGAIN.

WHAT the heck was I to do?! I mean I’ve said the ‘F’ word in front of her on SEVERAL occasions (totally not on purpose, mind you)!!! Plus there’s the fact that she had just spent a day & a half with her older cousins. Much older cousins. Cousins that don’t watch what they say around younger kids. Cousins that only monitor the things they say when grown-ups are present. Do you sense a pattern here? I’m trying to blame it on the cousins. Of course I know it’s not entirely their fault. Yes! I do realize that it is my fault. I’m the Mom. It’s always my fault.

Hopefully, she freaked herself out enough worrying about my reaction that she won’t say that again. At least, in front of me.

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),
Ciao

Tell Me Thursday – 33rd Edition

tmt125x125

Do I need to explain what Tell Me Thursday is all about? Or have you figured it out by now? Oh, what the heck… TMT is an opportunity for me to tell you all about the Wordless Wednesday photo I posted yesterday. So, that being said, let me move right into telling you about my Wordless Wednesday photo from yesterday. Heh. This picture was taken by me… it is a picture of a darling piece of artwork that my Honey bunny made nearly 4 years ago. MAN time flies! Amazes me that so many years have gone by already. I have this artwork hanging on the wall of my office directly above my phone so I get to enjoy looking at it everyday.

So what do you think of this picture/artwork? Pretty cool? I think so. Very abstract! Love the colors, shapes, and variety of sizes. And I love how some of the pieces are sort of floating off into space.

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),
Ciao