And the winner is….

ME! I win! I win the ‘Most Hateful Mom of the World’ award. How did I win? What did I win? How did you not know that there was even such a contest?! To start, how did I win? I won because I’m the meanest, most horrible mom. What did I win? I won a trip! A Mommy Guilt trip! Just for me. Disclaimer: Sorry this contest was not broadcast state or nationwide.

Well, let me tell you a little bit more of the story….

You see, it all started a long time ago, when my Honey bunny first started “fibbing” to me about brushing & flossing her teeth. This went on for awhile with rewards and/or punishment distributed periodically until the dentist finally had to mandate that she come to the office for check-ups & cleanings every 4 months because her teeth and gums were so badly deteriorating. I’m just gonna say, that my daily nagging was clearly not making a difference cuz she still wasn’t doing it.

Ok! Fast forward to a few days ago when I asked her if she was ready for school, including the usual, EVERY DAY things necessary to be ready for school, e.g., flossing, teeth brushing, face washing, to which she replied “Yes MOM, I’m ready”, and due to the fact that she’s perhaps been less truthful in the past, I asked again (thinking that maybe I’d give her ‘the out’ to come up & complete the tasks if she really hadn’t done them – damn am I an enabler?) but she says to me “WHY DON’T YOU BELIEVE ME?!” *read with whiny voice*

Right. Well, I decide I’d check out the situation in her bathroom sink before jumping to any conclusions. Uh oh. BONE DRY. I MEAN REALLY BONE DRY. Damn it! Now I’m gonna have to do something I really, very much do NOT want to do. What?! You’re probably screaming, what did you do?! I called her to come up to her bathroom and pointed to the Sahara desert that was her sink and asked how she could possibly have washed her face, flossed, and brushed her teeth in that sink. Her response was that it had dried. Suuuuure. At this juncture, I presented exhibit B, her little sister’s bathroom sink which was still wet from when she finished all the morning routine nearly an hour prior.

Shit slowly began to spiral outta control when I tell her that I was gonna have to do something now due to her total lie, that she brought it on herself, and that because she knows what she did was wrong, so on and so forth. I told her that she wouldn’t be able to go to the Halloween dance at school on Friday. Now comes the swirling vortex of crying, begging, pleading, bargaining, and more crying. Oh, just wait, it gets better.

15 minutes it has taken us to have this “conversation”, so now I’m not ready for work and she’s got to get to school before she’s late. I tell her to give me the permission slip & money for the dance. Commence additional wailing, pleading, bargaining (she told me I could take away her CELLPHONE, computer, and TV privileges, if I’d just let her go to the dance – heeyyy, I must have really struck a nerve with this punishment), crying, and the coup de grâce, “YOU HATE ME!!” Ahhhhh, life with an almost teenager. So much fun. Said NO ONE EVER. And now me too. I felt ill and so very sad because I wanted her to go to the dance! And have fun with her friends! But I just couldn’t let it go this time. I had to put my foot down. But damn it if I didn’t feel as horrible about the whole thing as she did. Was I doing the right thing? Will she be scared for the rest of her life? Was I being too harsh? Should her father & I start sleeping with one eye open!?

So! Yesterday. I’m driving her to school and she says to me, “you know my friends told me that I should ask you if there was something that I could do that would make you change your mind about letting me go to the dance…” Me: blah, blah, blah, more useless lecturing that she’s totally not listening to. As she’s getting out of the car she asks me again, “so what’s your answer?” Me: oh, sweetie, I haven’t changed my mind. And then, after school, there’s yet another attempt but this time it includes a request from her Drama teacher to participate in the Haunted House that’s panned for the school dance. “But MOM she wants me to do this!” Me: well that’s unfortunate because you’re not going to the dance. You know what? You gotta give her props for trying!

 

Thanks for listening, or reading (if you must be technical),

Ciao

 

P.S. Last night she mentions to me that her girlfriend is also not going to the dance due to a punishment so MAYBE they could have a sleepover! Bwahahahahaa. Um, no. I’m certain this isn’t over yet. Two more days till the dance. Here’s to hoping I survive.

1st Friday Faves of 2010! aka I couldn’t think of a better title

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Hi! It’s Friday night and here is my very 1st Friday Fave of 2010. Which I’m pretty sure you figured out from the title of this post. Right? Riiiiight. Please to enjoy a short but nevertheless sweet FF!

Oh, I know allllllll about this! My gremlins are on me like this always.
funny pictures of cats with captions

This is a little bit old but I had to include it! We are so lucky to have received one of these wonderful guys. And we only had it for a week before Christmas. I forgot to move the Elf two days. Oh, I eventually remembered at 4 or 5am. Imagine jumping outta bed running around the house to move the damn thing. Good times. Can’t wait till next year!

Crazy! I mean how wild is this? I wonder how well this works in the real world.

Uh huh! That’s the truth…

Coooooool!! I really dig this gadget and would to get my hands on it if only cuz it looks so cool.

I absolutely love this picture. The color, the texture, the light, everything.

OMG I had to include this because I can’t get enough of the photobomb. Perfection!
HAI MOM!!!

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),
Ciao

Friday Faves – Dope shite, right?!

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It seems wrong to try to be funny on such a day but when you think about how humor can heal, then it doesn’t seem so wrong. With that being said, please enjoy the following….

For the last few months I’ve been using Firefox for my browser instead of IE and Oh.My.God. is it so much better. No more crashes, haven’t lost stuff I was reading/working on, plus the fun of all the add-ons! Anyway… when I saw this I figured it was too cute not to include!
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I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, THIS WOMAN is a genius!!!! I had stomach pains from laughing so hard while reading this. And I just read it again and laughed really hard quietly to myself because I’m sorta supposed to be working on the bank reconciliation and the husband is in his office right next door so will totally know that I’m f-cking around instead of working. HI HONEY! Cause now that you’re reading this you really know what I was doing while pretending to be working. Heh. I’m gonna get so much shit for this.

Knowledge is power right? So now you know how to keep from sleeping with these buggers! Plus, if your house is anything like our house and EVERYONE has allergies & asthma, then this info is a real bonus.

What do you think about getting your kid a cellphone? Honey bunny bugs me for one EVERY DAMN DAY. And she gives me a list of all her friends that have one already each and every time she asks for a cellphone. What the hell is with people that give their 4th graders or younger cellphones? I mean the thing is adorable but still do kids need to be able to post to blogs from their phone? Hell NO. Me, yes, I need to be able to post to blogs from my cellphone – my kid? NO. I’m selfish like that.

I have no guts. Far too chicken to do this. But Keely has done it fantastically well, now I don’t have to! Would you? Would you want to? Stay tuned for more in her series. Probably.

Wow, I generally prefer a smidge of subtlety from my hotel room sign … but you have to admit this is a riot. Not to mention that it’s kinda a coincidence that it came from a website called Daily Shite. I SWEAR I named my post before I found their website from a tweet by @subrbanoblivion.

Me likey. Now, if I could only learn how to take pictures this fantastically well.

You’ve probably seen this list previously, hell, I’ve seen this list previously in email forwards from my friends but it struck my funny-bone the other night and I COULD NOT stop laughing. YAHTZEE!

Speaking of laughing, I laughed right out loud the entire time I was reading this post. If you’re a guy, then it might not be as comical as it is for us ladies. Just sayin’.

And lastly, this possibly unpatriotic post from Cake Wrecks. WTF?

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),
Ciao