Someone is NOT happy with me

Better late than never… I say that because her b-day was last month. Ahem. And this photo was from the week of her party. I was “helping” my Little Pumpkin get the invitations ready for her 8th birthday party. But I got a bit ahead of her. This is what I get for trying to help! Disgruntled almost 8 yr old says…

Nothing like a temper tantrum over imessage. And aren’t parents suppose to ruin everything for their kids? I’m fairly certain that is listed in my unofficial title. Mom, Ruiner of EVERYTHING! In case you were wondering, all I did was fill in the details of the party. Exactly as all the other invites were written. With the same exact pen, even. But I ruined them! Haha. So I handed out those bitches anyway or the kid wouldn’t have had any friends at her party.

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),


And the winner is….

ME! I win! I win the ‘Most Hateful Mom of the World’ award. How did I win? What did I win? How did you not know that there was even such a contest?! To start, how did I win? I won because I’m the meanest, most horrible mom. What did I win? I won a trip! A Mommy Guilt trip! Just for me. Disclaimer: Sorry this contest was not broadcast state or nationwide.

Well, let me tell you a little bit more of the story….

You see, it all started a long time ago, when my Honey bunny first started “fibbing” to me about brushing & flossing her teeth. This went on for awhile with rewards and/or punishment distributed periodically until the dentist finally had to mandate that she come to the office for check-ups & cleanings every 4 months because her teeth and gums were so badly deteriorating. I’m just gonna say, that my daily nagging was clearly not making a difference cuz she still wasn’t doing it.

Ok! Fast forward to a few days ago when I asked her if she was ready for school, including the usual, EVERY DAY things necessary to be ready for school, e.g., flossing, teeth brushing, face washing, to which she replied “Yes MOM, I’m ready”, and due to the fact that she’s perhaps been less truthful in the past, I asked again (thinking that maybe I’d give her ‘the out’ to come up & complete the tasks if she really hadn’t done them – damn am I an enabler?) but she says to me “WHY DON’T YOU BELIEVE ME?!” *read with whiny voice*

Right. Well, I decide I’d check out the situation in her bathroom sink before jumping to any conclusions. Uh oh. BONE DRY. I MEAN REALLY BONE DRY. Damn it! Now I’m gonna have to do something I really, very much do NOT want to do. What?! You’re probably screaming, what did you do?! I called her to come up to her bathroom and pointed to the Sahara desert that was her sink and asked how she could possibly have washed her face, flossed, and brushed her teeth in that sink. Her response was that it had dried. Suuuuure. At this juncture, I presented exhibit B, her little sister’s bathroom sink which was still wet from when she finished all the morning routine nearly an hour prior.

Shit slowly began to spiral outta control when I tell her that I was gonna have to do something now due to her total lie, that she brought it on herself, and that because she knows what she did was wrong, so on and so forth. I told her that she wouldn’t be able to go to the Halloween dance at school on Friday. Now comes the swirling vortex of crying, begging, pleading, bargaining, and more crying. Oh, just wait, it gets better.

15 minutes it has taken us to have this “conversation”, so now I’m not ready for work and she’s got to get to school before she’s late. I tell her to give me the permission slip & money for the dance. Commence additional wailing, pleading, bargaining (she told me I could take away her CELLPHONE, computer, and TV privileges, if I’d just let her go to the dance – heeyyy, I must have really struck a nerve with this punishment), crying, and the coup de grâce, “YOU HATE ME!!” Ahhhhh, life with an almost teenager. So much fun. Said NO ONE EVER. And now me too. I felt ill and so very sad because I wanted her to go to the dance! And have fun with her friends! But I just couldn’t let it go this time. I had to put my foot down. But damn it if I didn’t feel as horrible about the whole thing as she did. Was I doing the right thing? Will she be scared for the rest of her life? Was I being too harsh? Should her father & I start sleeping with one eye open!?

So! Yesterday. I’m driving her to school and she says to me, “you know my friends told me that I should ask you if there was something that I could do that would make you change your mind about letting me go to the dance…” Me: blah, blah, blah, more useless lecturing that she’s totally not listening to. As she’s getting out of the car she asks me again, “so what’s your answer?” Me: oh, sweetie, I haven’t changed my mind. And then, after school, there’s yet another attempt but this time it includes a request from her Drama teacher to participate in the Haunted House that’s panned for the school dance. “But MOM she wants me to do this!” Me: well that’s unfortunate because you’re not going to the dance. You know what? You gotta give her props for trying!


Thanks for listening, or reading (if you must be technical),



P.S. Last night she mentions to me that her girlfriend is also not going to the dance due to a punishment so MAYBE they could have a sleepover! Bwahahahahaa. Um, no. I’m certain this isn’t over yet. Two more days till the dance. Here’s to hoping I survive.

Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream, or at least less arguing at bedtime

Bedtime is such a pleasant time in our household. Bwhahahahahaha. No, not really. It is, and I’m sure this comes as no surprise to you, a challenge. As it probably is in your household as well. I’m guessing. But I suppose I could be wrong. Maybe it’s a breeze for you. If it is, then DON’T tell me. I wanna keep believing that I’m not alone in this nightmare.

Anywhoo, with two gremlins at two diverse age groups with two different bedtimes, it is quite a bit of work. But perhaps I’m making this harder on myself than necessary. Let me explain… right now I begin getting Pumpkin ready for bed at roughly 6:30pm. This includes bath, getting pjs on, teeth brushing, reading a couple books, back rubbing for a minute or so, hugs or three, kisses, more hugs, and more kisses, a cup of water, a trip to the bathroom. More water. Now take all that and times it by two because at approx 7:45pm I’m doing this same thing all over again for Honey bunny. Only with fewer books (since she can read on her own) and less help with the putting on of pjs and teeth brushing because really she’s nine. She’s been doing this for awhile.

If I just put them to bed at the same time it probably wouldn’t be as bad. Or I could be totally deluding myself.

Honey bunny would whine & moan & stomp & whine (yes, I wrote that again intentionally), oh and let us not forget the backtalking! and attitude! about going to bed so early if I switched her bedtime to match that of Pumpkin’s. On the other hand, if I allow Pumpkin to stay up until Honey bunny’s bedtime, then I’ll end up having to deal with an extra extra grumpy little gremlin come morning.

As it is right now Pumpkin ends up staying awake until after 8pm because of all the activity that is still taking place throughout the house. She’s in and out of her bed nearly a half dozen times before she finally settles down to sleep. RIDICULOUSNESS! And there is only so many times I can say, “Pumpkin, get back in bed!”

I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m being manipulated by my 4 year old. Actually, I’ll say it, I am being manipulated by my 4 year old. Sheesh. But what the hell am I supposed to do – tie her to the bed? I’m kidding. I have only thought about doing that a couple 1,000 times, I wouldn’t really, actually, *in fact* tie her to the bed. Do you think that would work? Still kidding. Heh.

What to do… what to do. I’m too tired to keep fighting this battle. I want to go get some sleep at some point before midnight! And I want to do it without arguing, fighting, crying, and whining & that’s all on my part.

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),

I’m playing the single mom this week or better known as these kids are going to kill me and it’s only Tuesday

The husband and I do a fairly decent job of dividing up tasks related to the children.  Well, all tasks if you get right down to it.  So when he has to go out of town for any reason & for any length of time it throws the whole system out of whack.  It’s not just me that feels it; the gremlins feel the pain too.  There is more rushing, more yelling, more rushing, less time for lounging in PJs, more yelling.  You get the picture.

Well a couple weeks back he went out of town with his folks for a couple days, leaving me home to manage the homestead & the gremlins.  It was only two days and it felt like an eternity.  This time it’s for a whole week.  That means I have to take Honey bunny and Pumpkin to school in the morning!  Yeah, I’m sure that there are some of you out there (maybe only one of you that actually read this) that have to take both children ~or however many children you have, I really couldn’t say cause I may or may not know you & your children~ to school each day.  I’m sorry.  I’m just not used to it!  I’m not used to making the lunches.  I’m not used to leaving the house at 7:25am in order to get Honey bunny to school on time.  I know!  I know.  I know.  What genius decided that the children should start school at 7:45am?!  And then let them out at 1:50pm!?  This is not at all helpful for people who work.  Either times. 

Alright, that sort of got off topic.  But like tonight, making dinner, doing the dishes, and then having to do the bath time thing.  Usually he’s here to run interference for me.  It at least buys me some time to finish up one thing or another.  Without him here?  I’m forced to beg, BEG the children to PLEASE assist me and stop hitting your sister and no, its not ok for you to watch that tv show and go brush your blasted teeth for the 1,000 time.  It’s a tough gig.  And despite the fact that I put Pumpkin into bed at 7pm doesn’t mean she’ll stay there or even go to sleep for like an hour or two.  Instead, I get to play pinball between the two girls rooms… except I’m the ball & you don’t want to be the ball.  You want to be the one hitting the ball between all the thingamabobs that score points.  Really, it’s exhausting.  Oh, and not forgetting to mention the fact that Pumpkin wakes up with the chickens.  Around 5am -ish she’s standing next to my side of the bed telling me she’s ready for breakfast.  I’m ready for my breakfast Mommy, get up.  Nice.       

There is one thing that I like about the husband being out on business… I get the t.v. remote!  Finally.  But this poses a challenge for me as well because now I have to make a decision.  Watch a movie?  Which movie?  Watch t.v. shows?  Which t.v. shows?  Or do I read a book?  Like the 600 page book club book that we’re currently reading?  Or do I twitter or blog?  Or browse around twittermoms?  What about the 609 items waiting in bloglines – yes, really 609 as of this minute – do I read those?  Decisions .. decisions.  I’ll make it through, no doubt about it.  Thankfully it’s only a temporary deal.  Not that much time left before he returns!  You can do it.  Think positive!  Tomorrow will be a better day, one can only hope. 

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),


Home again, home again, jiggity jig

We’re back from the whirlwind week to Disneyland, Palm Desert, SeaWorld, and San Bernardino.  It’s a challenge for 4 people living out of suitcases for 8 days but we did it!

Took a gazillion pictures.  The girls had a fantastic time in Disneyland.  I rode the Tea Cup ride 3 or 4 times.  Road the little rollercoaster in Toontown three times.  Twice with Pumpkin & once with Honey bunny.  Road the Storybook land two times.  Did I get on Space Mountain? NO!  Did I want to? YES!  Did we get on It’s a Small World? NO!  Did we want to? YES!  Why didn’t we?  Because it was closed for restoration!!!  Aaaaaggh!

I’m still trying to catch-up on my laundry.  Which I hate anyway & then to have piles of it here, piles of it there, all in varing stages of completion annoys the hell out of me.

Vacations are fabulous but then you come right back to reality.  Although, I do have to say that I was inspired by my cousin’s kitchen cabinets & their organization system and our friend’s kitchen pantry.  So I set out straight away to clean out my kitchen cabinets/pantry and get m’self organized.

She won’t be having any kids

My Mom, sister, myself & the gremlins went away for a girls-family weekend. We went to the Monterey Bay Aquarium, Cannery Row, Fisherman’s wharf, and all that other touristy stuff. It all went fairly well. The gremlins had a wonderful time seeing the otters, peguins, jellys, rays, and starfish. It was a long day but since they had such a blast it went by quickly.  Plus, it was great fun watching the excitement of each new discovery play on their faces.

It was on our drive home Sunday night that we ran into some trouble. Oh, not with us exactly, but on the freeway to get home…. First there was a car accident. This cause horrendous bumper to bumper, slower than a snail’s pace traffic. Even after passing the accident, the traffic did not pick-up. By the time we reached the freeway interchange, Honey bunny started complaining about having to go to the bathroom. And when I say complaining, what I really mean is whining and crying and screaming that she was going to go to the bathroom in her pants if we didn’t get her to a bathroom soon. This whole panic attack got Pumpkin start on a rant about how she was really hot in her sweater and she needed me to take it off RIGHT NOW!!!! Unfortunately, I was driving the car. So there was no way in hell that I was going to be able to take her sweater off. As if that weren’t enough, she started having a hysterical fit because her back was itching. My mom was sitting in the seat next to her so I asked if she could try to help Pumpkin until I could figure out a way to get us off the F**KING freeway. Apparently, it was just too much to ask because then my mom began to get hostile and was totally ineffective in soothing Pumpkin. OK, I gotta cut her some slack it has been a really long time since she had to soothe a baby.

Well, it’s at this point, this magical moment of family fun, that my sister can see that I’m about to absolutely lose it… she reaches over, grabs my arm, and quietly says, “I know you don’t really want to hear this right now, but I think that my tubes just tied themself”.

Needless to say, I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants.  Thankfully, AT LAST, we got to the gas station.  My mom ran Honey bunny to the bathroom, I took Pumpkin out of her car seat, took off the offending sweater, and held her until she stopped crying.

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),

She’s my second child

Would that explain a few things?  Like the fact that she always looks like a raga-muffin child.  Yes, on occasion, I let her pick out the clothes she wants to wear; I’m tired of arguing with her.  I think I might have finally learned how to pick my battles…. 

Please see the following:

Example A:
Me- You mean, you want to wear the tan pants with the purple turtleneck with the red socks and the pink & orange rain boots today? 
Pumpkin- Yeah, yeah, Mommy. 
Me- Sure no problem. 
(inner monologue: If this will keep you from having another tantrum this morning, then be my guest!  Who cares that there isn’t a rain cloud in the sky and none of that stuff matches.) 

Example B:
Me – you don’t want me to brush your hair today? 
Pumpkin- Nooooo!  
Me- Are you sure you don’t want Mommy to make it look pretty?  I could put a nice bow in to keep your hair out of your face. 
Pumpkin- No, no, no! 
Me- Fine.  Let’s go! 
(inner monologue: Guess the teachers at school will have to do it again today! She always loves when Ms. Amy does her hair in braids anyway.) 

This never, never, never, ever, ever in a million, trillion years would have happened with Honey bunny – my now 8 yr old daughter.  As the first born child, my first born child, Honey bunny was my show piece (if you will).  I had so much to prove.  Why?  I can’t recall now.  Probably just my insecurity.  I had to show everyone that I was a good mommy, “see, my daughter- isn’t she the cutest thing?”  All dressed in an adorable outfit with matching tights & fancy shoes and her hair done in perfect ponytails held in place by coordinating ribbon.  Everyday.  Of course, I didn’t work at a job that I had to go to 5 days a week for 8+ hrs per day plus a two hour commute.  That being said, I clearly had scads more time.  Now it’s a whole other ball game, the husband & I have two businesses that require me to be in the office almost every day, all day.  Luckily it’s not a two hour commute to work & back.  It’s more like 7 minutes from home to work.  Plus, we are STILL trying to sell our house… meaning lots more cleaning on a daily basis.  Therefore, my little Pumpkin has much more freedom & a lot less restrictions than her big sister. 

P o s t  g e t t i n g  t o o  l o n g… m u s t   c o n t i n u e   l a t e r.

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),