Hair roller hell or how I almost had to cut my kid’s hair outta rollers

I know I’m not the only Mom to which this situation has happened. But it’s never happened to me before! I nearly had to cut out 10 hair rollers from my Little Pumpkin’s hair!! All because of the BLEEPITY BLEEPING BLEEP hair rollers were all tangled in her hair!! And we had FIVE minutes before she had to leave for school! And I was panicking!! And she was screaming!! And there was crying!! And OMG HELP US!! I felt horrible, absolutely terrible about the whole ordeal. Her poor little scalp. Not to mention her psyche.

Well, despite all the screaming and crying it turned out all right. I was finally able to get her hair untangled from the roller’s teeth (which were really the culprits all along) WITHOUT cutting her hair at random points. Damn, that would have been a real nightmare. Probably these rollers weren’t meant for her length of hair anyway because of the teeth. Really, the damn things were given to my gremlins to pretend play beauty salon (or whatever) and I should have just thrown them away a long time ago. Which is EXACTLY what I did as soon as the husband & Pumpkin were on their way to school.

I just have to add, I did try to warn her about these particular rollers when I was putting them in her hair. We also have the foamy, squishy kind that DON’T get tangled in hair. But NOOOOO, she wanted to have these ones put in. So, lesson learned. Hopefully. What lesson do I hope that she learned? LISTEN to your mother. What lesson did I learn? Push your argument a little stronger.  Maybe, she’ll listen. Or most likely, she’ll still want her own way. What am I gonna do? She’s got a determined personality. Much like her mother & father.

 

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),

Ciao

A “funny” thing happened on the way to lunch

I’m trying to decide whether to give you the long version or the short version.  Or the medium short version.  Or the semi-long version.  How much time have you got?  Well I’ll give you the semi-medium long version because you’re probably skimming anyway.

Ok, here goes, just a bit of back story first.  Honey bunny is afraid of needles.  I blame this on her father & grandfather who have some how managed to pass this fear onto her either by genetics or osmosis or whathaveyou.  In any case she doesn’t like needles.  Now.  She’s been wanting to get her ears pierced for a couple of years.  Initially I told her she had to wait till she was older.  Then on her birthday I told her if she wanted them pierced, then we’d get them done.  Her fear overcame her desire to be like her friends – most of whom have had their ears pierced for ages.  So, ok fine, we’ll wait a bit longer, no biggie.

Well, this last week she told me she was really ready.  Really really this time.

As it happened we had to go to the mall to find a birthday gift for my dad and happy coincidence we’d be in the very place that housed Claire’s.  If you don’t have girl children or aren’t a women, then you’ll have zero idea of the place I speak.  However, if you are a woman or have girl children, then you know this store is the Mecca of all things girly.

Our first stop was Claire’s to get the piercing over & done with since Honey bunny was beginning to get nervous about the whole needle/pain/fear of unknown experience.  There was only one girl working in the store.  And it took her forever to come over, get things set-up, fill out the paperwork (because they have to protect their asses in case of a screw-up or infection or blah blah blah).  This delay was causing Honey bunny to think more, more, more about the needles/pain/fear of unknown.  FINALLY!  The chick was ready to do the piercing.  At this point, Honey bunny has begun to alternately hold her breath & breath in and out really fast. You can imagine what this was doing to her physically.

I held tight to Honey bunny’s hand while the chick put the ear-piercing apparatus up to my child’s ear lobe. I was using my best soothing Mommy voice to try to keep Honey bunny from completely flipping out and began counting down 3…2…1… expecting the chick to pierce her ear at ‘1’ like any normal person with half a brain would do but did she? NO! I got to ‘1’ and she waited like 5 seconds later then pierced her ear. WTF?! We moved on to Honey’s other ear lobe and did the count down again… this time I’m thinking ok she must know to do this thing on ‘1’ but does she? NO! AGAIN! She waited 5 seconds before doing the piercing.

This whole time Honey bunny has been silently crying, holding her breath, and squeezing my hand. Well, it was at last over so I did my best to cheer her for her bravery, congratulate her on the new jewellery, and get her to breath normally!

I look down at my little Pumpkin, who I should have known would be watching the whole thing go down, and she is pale as can be with no color in her lips AT ALL. She tells me, “mommy I don’t feel good in my tummy, I think I’m gonna throw up”. She begins gagging!! I start freaking out because I’ve never seen her so pale & she’s threatening to throw up in the middle of a store. Meanwhile Honey bunny is saying to me, “mommy, I see blue spots and I can’t really hear and I think I’m gonna be sick”. All I can think is: ARE YOU FREAKIN KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW???!!!

So I tell Honey bunny to stay in the chair, don’t get up, and breath slowly. I take Pumpkin out of the store to distract her from being sick – look over there! Oh, what about that thing! Did you see those over there?! – this does not help. We go back into the store so I can pay for this ear piercing nightmare. We all go over to the register and Honey bunny is still complaining about throwing up so I get her standing in front of a big trash bag. The chick starts ringing us up and Pumpkin is falling asleep on my should but more like passing out than sleeping so I begin massaging her face and her arm and talking to her in a loud voice telling her to wake up.

As if the clerk is finally noticing all the HELL I’m going thru, she offers to get the girls lollipops. Maybe it will help, she offers. YA THINK? Honey bunny starts sucking on the lollipop right away but Pumpkin refuses it, flatout. Not much I can do about that. I paid the bill and we left the store.

We are just about to the food court when I see there’s a Jamba Juice and I think – hey, this place sells stuff with a lot of sugar in it. perhaps it will help these children feel better! So we’re standing in line about to order our drinks when Pumpkin throws up ~mind you, I’m holding her in my arms~ all over her shirt, her dolly, and on part of the floor. Two things go through my mind: one, did any of it get on me ANYWHERE? and two, how fast can we disappear to the bathroom to get cleaned up?

To make this long story a little bit shorter, I’ll wrap this up by saying… I got Pumpkin cleaned up but we went to Target & I bought her a new shirt to wear since we still hadn’t bought my dad’s gift or gone to lunch with my mom & sister. They both got Jamba Juice and it did help them to feel better. I, on the other hand, did not get Jamba juice and I was still a bit shell shocked from the whole experience. But Honey bunny is thrilled with her earrings – she got Amethyst colored stones – and she has spent the last 4 days showing everyone her new earrings. So all ended well.

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),
Ciao

Mommy is a winner

So, I got m’self a speeding ticket today.  My first ever.  I know, I know, amazing, right??!  I mean how is it possible that I got a speeding ticket?  Who gets speeding tickets?  Well, me evidently.  But what else is amazing is that it’s my first.  I’m not a spring chicken anymore so I’ve got a few years driving under my belt.  And most of those years I’ve spent speeding everywhere.  On the freeway, through town, it doesn’t matter.  I almost never allow enough time to get where I need to go… speeding is a way of life for me.  Not to mention I drive an SUV with a V8 engine that has a lot of power and can go fast.  Today was just like any other day, except it was my turn.   

Here’s the scoop:
Pumpkin and I were heading into town to go to daycare this morning and in order to get to daycare we have to pass the high school.  Today good ol’ officer so-n-so was camped out in front of the school on his motorcycle with his trusty radar gun, unbeknownst to me.  We’re happily driving along (me excited that it’s still early enough that I’ll have time to stop off at Starbucks, gets some coffee, and write more of my terrible 1st novel) when BAM I look up and see officer so-n-so lower his radar gun and pull out into traffic right behind me!  I’m the lucky winner today!  Because, to be honest with you, I didn’t think I was going any faster than anyone else driving in front of me or behind me.  Welp, officer so-n-so was very nice asking if it had been a million years since I’ve gotten a ticket ~hey, I think I look pretty good for my age~ then asking for my license, registration, and proof of insurance, he went off to write me a ticket.  You didn’t actually think he would let me go, did you?  I was praying he would let me off the hook… I mean I did tell him it was my first speeding ticket EVER, unfortunately, I was speeding in front of a school for Pete’s sake!!  They take that kind of speeding more serious than any other kind.  He was incredibly helpful in not writing the ticket up for the actual speed I was driving but for 35 mph in a 25 mph zone.  This will save my hide.  Now I can just go to traffic school or complete some course online and POOF off my record, thank the Lord.

Anyway, so Pumpkin was quietly watching all that was happening from the comfort of her car seat and when we pulled back out into traffic she asked me, “mommy, what did he give you?”  I replied, “he gave me a ticket for going too fast.”  She excitedly shouts, “mommy is a winner, she got a ticket!”  Ooookkkk.  Not exactly.  Next she proceeded to sing, “mommy is a tattle tell, mommy is a tattle tell, mommy got a ticket, mommy is a winner” until we arrived at her daycare.  Oh the joy.

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),

Ciao     

Fever, or see what happens when you get the flu shot

Today is Day 2 of staying home with Pumpkin.  She has been running a fever for about three days now.  At first her temp was low grade but in the last 2 days it has gotten progressively higher.  This morning it was up to 101.8 ~and that’s not a radio station~ time to break out the Motrin….  The husband thinks it’s because of the vaccination.   

It all started on Friday.  You see it was time for our annual flu vaccination.  As a good Mommy, I followed the pediatrician’s advice and scheduled Honey bunny & Pumpkin for their flu shots since both girls consistently end up with asthma problems in winter, plus its just generally a good idea given the fact that they are both in day care several days each week.  And we all know day care centers are a hot bed for colds, virus, the plague, etc. 

So on Friday afternoon we went to the pediatrician’s office to get the flu shots.  Honey bunny has NEVER been a fan of shots, any kind of shots or needles of any sort for that matter (she takes after the husband who has inherited this irrational fear from his father), so she begins the crying/whining/complaining jag that lasts until we reach the doctor’s check-in desk.  All the while I’m begging her to be brave and show no fear because Pumpkin is watching everything she does & says, and will then copy & repeat.  There truly is a reason they came up with the phrase ‘monkey see, monkey do’.

As it turned out Pumpkin didn’t cry at all, not even a little, when she got the shot.  Ooopps, forgot to tell you about what happened after we were taken to the exam room… the doctor came in to talk with me for a minute just to make sure that no one was sick prior to getting the flu shot and he asked Honey bunny if she would like to have the flu vaccine by nasal spray as opposed to injection.  Umm, yeah!!  She was so excited that she wouldn’t have to have a shot, it was the first time she smiled since I had picked her up from school & she found out where we were going.  So in a word, Yes!, please let her have the vaccine by spray.  Off he went to get the vaccines.  Minutes later he returns and says, “oh, I’m sorry we are all out of the spray vaccine, you’ll have to have the regular kind after all.” 

NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Yo, doc, next time, don’t promise my kid she won’t have to have a shot and then come back and say, JUST KIDDING!  You f***ing moron.

Moving on, we finished getting the shots and left to go get the treat I promised the girls they could get.

You know what, I’m going to skip all the rest of that cause at this rate it will take me till the next decade to finish.  Suffice it to say, Pumpkin has been running a temp and this morning began complaining about her throat hurting.  I reviewed the paper the doctor’s office gives out after vaccines and sure enough she had four out of seven flu symptoms.  Huh?  Was this coincidental or was this because of the vaccine?  I called the pediatrician and found out that the vaccine is a “killed” or inactivated vaccine.  So it was coincidental and she probably picked up something from that deadly day care center.  (B the W, if you haven’t picked up on my sarcasm related to day care & illness, then sorry, but I personally feel that Honey bunny is generally as healthy as she is now because she was exposed to many illnesses when she was little and developed immunities as a result.)

Anyway, I took Pumpkin to see the pediatrician this afternoon and her throat was red & irritated.  Her poor little body was trying to fight off something.  Let’s just help her system kick this thing.  So her doctor gave me a prescription for an antibiotic.  Yes, I believe that antibiotics are good.  When. used. properly.  Not taken all the time and/or fed to farm animals that are lumped together in order to keep them healthy enough for slaughter.  Sorry, didn’t mean to go off on a tangent. 

************************

Ok, it’s now after 8pm and we finally got Pumpkin to bed.  Her temp spiked up to 103.4 and it has taken us an hour and more Motrin to cool her down.  Man, it hate it when that happens.  It scares the crap out of me!  I immediately have visions of emergency rooms and tubes hooked up to my baby.  I knew I should have given her some Tylenol at 5pm then she probably would have been fine!  Or at least her temp would have stayed in the range of 100 to 101.  Cheese Louise, I’m beat.  It has been some day.  I’m gonna hit the sack so I can try to get some sleep before I have to check on her.  At oh, roughly, 2 or 3am.  God help me so that neither Honey bunny nor I get this thing…. 

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),

Ciao

    

MRI Results

Ok, so I got the news… but before I tell you what the doc told me, I’m gonna “force” the back story on ya.  For at least the last 2 yrs (and I think it started after reaching from the driver’s seat all the way to the back of the back seat ~WHILE DRIVING~ to get Pumpkin’s pacifier) I have been dealing with a progressively increasing back/hip/leg pain.  At first it barely bothered me.  And given that it was painful only at infrequent, random times, I let it go.  I let it go for about 1 1/2 yr.  Until roughly 10 months ago. 

At that point, I mentioned something to my doctor about the pain.  He did a couple tests.  But there didn’t appear to be a real problem.  I was able to do all the things he asked, and had no constant pain down my leg.  So he told me to watch my posture.  Plus, gave me a paper with a few exercises that he wanted me to do at home.  I’ll be honest, I looked at the paper he gave me and almost laughed.  I thought, there is no way that doing these dumb F**king exercises are gonna help make this pain go away.  But I took it anyway.  Then proceeded to do NONE of the exercises.

Fast forward 6 months.  The pain was now consistent and frequent; like every time I stood up.  So having finally gotten sick of the pain interfering with my life I went to see the doctor again.  He did the same tests as before.  But because I told him it was bothering me more regularly, he sent me to the physical therapist.  I was good.  I went to the appts and did the exercises they told me to do.  I even did the exercises at home!  And I’ll admit notice some improvement.  I now had the ability to reduce the amount of time it took to recover from the pain after standing by shifting my body into proper posture.  You know, shoulders back/stomach sucked in/pelvis tipped forward/blah/blah.

Unfortunately, this didn’t help in the long run.  The pain continued to worsen and become so bothersome that I went back to the doc.  Thus leading to my appt. for an MRI. 

***** 

But wait, there’s more, if you call right now, ~NO JUST KIDDING~ I have to tell you this part as I find this hilarious.  When I went to the doc two weeks ago, and I told him again about the pain, he acted like it was the first time I had ever mentioned the pain!  Hello!  YOU sent me to the physical therapist!  So he says, “well why don’t we see if it gets any worse over time.”  HUH?  Hasn’t enough time gone by with it getting worse by the week?!  I tried to tell him that it hurt when I did “this” or “that” and he proceeds to tell me, “well don’t do ‘that’.”  Har, har, rib, rib… as he’s walking out of the exam room.  ARE YOU FREAKIN KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?! (To steal a phrase from my friend M)  

Being the pleaser that I am, I almost agreed with him.  But then I thought, I’ve been telling you for months that my back is hurting me & I have shooting pains down my leg when I stand up or am sitting in the car or trying to make my daughter’s bed or reaching for anything that requires me to twist.  I’m not waiting any longer.  So I say, “but it’s interfering with my life!  I can’t get on the floor to play with my kids, I can’t get out of the car without having to hold onto the door so I won’t fall when the pain hits me, and I can’t make my own bed without there being pain.” (and not the kind of pain that comes with having to make one’s bed). 

I think this is what finally convinced him that I wasn’t kidding.  So a week later, I’m gettin an MRI.  Hence my first Wordless Wednesday post.

***** 

Well, now that this has gone on long enough, I’ll tell you, I talked to the doctor on Friday about the results from the MRI.  He paused ever so slightly before beginning to tell me what he saw.  And my first reaction to his pause was, “OMG, he’s going to tell me that there is NOTHING wrong with me!”  But he said this instead, “well, this turned out to be more serious than I originally thought.”  YA THINK?!  Been in a little bit of pain here.  He goes on to say, “I’d like you to see a Neurologist to discuss the next course of action.” 

WOW.  O…K…

So basically, one of the disc in my lower back is pinching a nerve.  How severe it actually is, I don’t know, since I haven’t seen the MRI.  And frankly, unless I had a professional pointing out the problem area, I would have no bloody idea what I was looking at. 

In a month (this was the soonest he could see me), I’ll be visiting the Neurologist to figure out what we’re gonna do now.

And so continues the saga….

Thanks for listening (or reading if you must be technical),

Ciao

It happened again

Whelp, I didn’t think it was possible, but apparently in my world it is.  My 2 yr old scared another 10 yrs off my life.  So far, by my count, I have lost over 20 yrs from my overall life expectancy.  Here’s the scoop: with it still being summer the whole family was out in the front yard playing.  We have an asphalt semi-circular driveway that the girls ride their scooters or bikes on or we draw chalk pictures or, as on this particular day, we were playing “baseball” with a plastic bat & whiffle ball.  So the 2yr old is running with the bat and TRIPS, either from the bat or the front of her little sandals, and FALLS FACE FIRST on the asphalt driveway.  She landed with a gut wrenching thud and hit her two top teeth right on the asphalt. 

Well, all Hell breaks loose because the 7yr old was standing right in front of the 2yr old & watched her fall and hit her face.  She starts freaking out that her baby sister is going to lose her teeth, the husband is freaking out that she knocked her teeth out AND we’re going to have to take her to the emergency room, the 2yr old is crying her little eyes out, and I’m attempting to calm and comfort her plus find out how bad of a situation we are really facing.  In the meantime, the 7yr old ran off to her room sobbing that her sister’s teeth were all coming out.  

I took her into the house and began washing her mouth out ~ oh and by the way, she didn’t knock the teeth out! ~ but they were loose.  There was even some asphalt embedded in her teeth.  Inside my head I’m thinking, “My poor, poor baby.  Please God don’t let her loose her teeth!”  I don’t want her to have to go around with a huge gap in her teeth for the next 4yrs until her adult teeth come in. This little girl is such a trooper!  She stopped crying a couple minutes later and she didn’t complain about them hurting.  She has been through more stuff in her short 2 yrs of life than many can (or would care to) say.  I really think she is taking after her father.  He had so many accidents as a child the people at the hospital were starting to look at his mother funny! 

(Writer’s note: While in the middle of writing this post, the 2 yr old got some kind of virus.  She vomited and developed a fever that lasted two days.  The scariest part was that her fever spiked to 104.9 degrees!!  Wanna talk about freaking out?  It took everything in my power not to panic at that.  I was able to get her cooled down by applying wet wash cloths all over her.  We called 911.  This is not something we have ever had to do before nor is it something that we ever thought that we would have to do.  By the time the people got to the house I had managed to get her temperature down to 101.4 degrees.  Luckily the virus/fever only lasted those 48 hrs and now she is back to her normal healthy self!! ~ as confirmed by her doctor.  I always look like the hypochondriac mom because the minute I take the kids to the doctor they are completely normal.  “I swear doctor; she had a fever and was vomiting!”).

About 4 days after falling, I finally got her in to see the dentist.  This was actually her first visit to the dentist.  Since this dentist office is geared to young children, they do a phenomenal job of making the kids feel comfortable.  Her teeth were still slightly loose.  What was worse, though, was having the dentist tell me that her teeth will begin to discolor and that they may still end up coming out (and not just at their regularly scheduled “it’s time to loose the baby teeth” time). 

C’est la vie.  Not like there is a whole lot I can do about it.  I suppose it is just one more thing for me to feel guilty about…. not being able to protect her.  I KNOW it’s irrational to believe that I can or should save her from all falls, accidents, life, etc. but it is also very difficult to handle when as a parent we are almost programmed to protect.  So I take a deep breath in and release the breath out along with all the things I can’t control in this life. 

Like how many more years I will get to live…

Thanks for listening (or reading if you must be technical),

Ciao  

Another 10 yrs gone

My 2 yr old is going to be the death of me.  I hate to keep saying that but she is scaring the life out of me!!  Hence the title of this post.  I have lost another 10 years of life… I’ll get to that part of the story later.  In the mean time, I’ll do a bit of explaining, this child is a daredevil/monkey.  I didn’t really think that I would ever have a child that was a daredevil.  I’m just too cautious by nature.  My personality is such that I check, recheck, and triple check things before sending (emails, these posts, or lunch boxes ~ I worry about whether I locked the front door).  I wouldn’t go to the point of diagnosing it as OCD.  I’m not THAT bad.  Moving on, I don’t really like to ride roller coasters, but I will force myself just to prove that I can do it and I’m not a total chicken s**t.  Plus, my 1st born is fairly cautious.  I guess this is partly attributed to the fact that I hovered over her constantly.  I worried about her falling or hurting herself anytime we were out at the park or even at Gymboree where everything is padded!  She was, and still is not the type to just jump in & try something new.  So it just never dawned on me that I would have a child that (to date) shows no fear.  I figured I’d have another child with the same basic personality traits as me & my 1st born.

I suppose I really shouldn’t be surprised.  My genes are only half of her genetic make-up.  Apparently, the husband was QUITE the handful when he was a child.  Not entirely certain if my mother-in-law embellished stories of him in his youth or they are accurate accounts of events.  In either case, he scared a few years off her life. 

Now, both the girls were spending the night at my in-laws over the weekend and they had the opportunity to go swimming.  Well, evidently (since I was not there to view firsthand) my little daredevil was standing on the edge of the pool ready to jump in!  Little Miss Thing (or LMT for short) just knew that she could do it.  My mother-in-law was in the pool at the time, thank goodness.    I have to tell you that LMT has not had ANY swimming lessons so why she thinks she can do this, only she knows.  I’ve decided I probably ought to get her some swimming lessons ~fast.

In another case, LMT was caught climbing up the pantry shelves to get to her favorite snacks!  Or there was the time that she pushed her rocking horse over to her crib and climbed IN.  This was a new one for me.  Her older sister only ever tried to climb OUT of the crib.  Lets see, there was an incident when she got her step stool out and climbed up to the counter in her bathroom.

Do we see a pattern here?

OK, so to get to the point, yesterday I was at home with both the girls and we were playing in my bedroom.  The 7yr old was watching a program on t.v.  LMT & I were doing puzzles, reading books, and generally playing on the floor.  She gets up and runs out of the room.  We live in a one story house, which means that I don’t have to worry about her falling down flights of stairs.  It is for this reason that I have given her some freedom and let her “roam” the house.  I had the baby monitor on in our room and could hear that she went into her room.  I called out to her to come back to my room and she being the little independent girl that she is, called out “I be right back” in her little toddler, pacifier hanging out of her mouth, voice.  Naturally I believed that she was just getting more toys for us to play with or more books to read.  Well, I was wrong….

What I heard next was what scared the 10 years off of my life.  The sound was that of something incredibly heavy crashing to the ground and then the 2 yr old screaming bloody murder.  I ran into her room faster than I have run anywhere – EVER.  The changing table was lying on the ground and she was standing next to it, scared and crying.  I thanked God that she wasn’t under it and picked her up to find out what had happened.  From what I could decipher, she was trying to climb up the changing table and it tipped over.   Luckily she wasn’t hurt, besides a small bruise on her nose where part of the table had hit her.  We put an ice pack on her nose and within about 5 minutes she was done with it & ready to play.  I don’t even want to think about what could have happened because every time I do, I start to cry.    

I now fully understand the purpose of furniture straps.  This daredevil/monkey behavior was never an issue with my 7 yr old.  It is THE ISSUE with my 2 yr old.  I am entirely grateful that I will have the opportunity to hover over her like a UFO.  And invest in some furniture straps….

Thanks for listening (or reading if you must be technical),

Ciao