Hair roller hell or how I almost had to cut my kid’s hair outta rollers

I know I’m not the only Mom to which this situation has happened. But it’s never happened to me before! I nearly had to cut out 10 hair rollers from my Little Pumpkin’s hair!! All because of the BLEEPITY BLEEPING BLEEP hair rollers were all tangled in her hair!! And we had FIVE minutes before she had to leave for school! And I was panicking!! And she was screaming!! And there was crying!! And OMG HELP US!! I felt horrible, absolutely terrible about the whole ordeal. Her poor little scalp. Not to mention her psyche.

Well, despite all the screaming and crying it turned out all right. I was finally able to get her hair untangled from the roller’s teeth (which were really the culprits all along) WITHOUT cutting her hair at random points. Damn, that would have been a real nightmare. Probably these rollers weren’t meant for her length of hair anyway because of the teeth. Really, the damn things were given to my gremlins to pretend play beauty salon (or whatever) and I should have just thrown them away a long time ago. Which is EXACTLY what I did as soon as the husband & Pumpkin were on their way to school.

I just have to add, I did try to warn her about these particular rollers when I was putting them in her hair. We also have the foamy, squishy kind that DON’T get tangled in hair. But NOOOOO, she wanted to have these ones put in. So, lesson learned. Hopefully. What lesson do I hope that she learned? LISTEN to your mother. What lesson did I learn? Push your argument a little stronger.  Maybe, she’ll listen. Or most likely, she’ll still want her own way. What am I gonna do? She’s got a determined personality. Much like her mother & father.


Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),



We get to celebrate another birthday or how nearly a decade has passed

Today is my little Pumpkin’s 7th birthday. Yep, SEVEN years old. I don’t know why I’m constantly surprised by the fact that years are passing by so quickly. I say this same S#!T all the time. And yet, I’m surprised again. I think it’s all the looking back that I do at times like these. Day to day always so focused on today and the next day that when I stop to reflect on the years passed, I get weirded out. Thoughts of “how did we get here so quickly” cross my mind. Oh, I know it hasn’t really been fast there’s always the same 24 hrs in a day, 7 days in a week, and 365 days in a year (Ha! Except for this year!). But you can’t tell me that when you stop to look back that the years don’t seem compressed into seconds. Is that a thing?

Well anyway, the point of this post is suppose to be about my Pumpkin getting older. And I guess secondarily it would be about me wigging out once again. I’ve been worrying -overly as is my modus operandi- about the plight of a second child, and probably the same for a 3rd or 4th if you’re insane enough to have that many, does she get enough attention? Besides the yelling at them to behave and get along, I mean. Do we spend enough quality time with her? Or has she always been the tag-along kid? It makes me feel incredibly guilty to think that might be the case. But in a way, it’s true. She always went along to Honey bunny’s events or with me to the grocery store or to my office, until quite recently she didn’t have her own thing. And I certainly never had a chance to take her to Gymboree (or somesuchthing) as I did with her older sister. I know I’ve written about it before. I still feel guilty about it. Yippee! More Mommy Guilt. I’ll come back from my tangent now.

So, she’s turning 7 yrs old and becoming such a big girl. She’s incredibly independent, smart, funny, and says things that continually blow my mind in terms of showing how advanced she is for her age. And she’s got the ” I wanna be older so I can do the things my sister is doing” mentality. I remember that well. Always wanting to be included and doing what my older sisters were doing.

7 yrs ago I was all ready to have a baby. I was walking around the hospital hallways telling the husband how I’d try to deliver her without an epidural. Ahahahaha!! He actually stopped walking with me to laugh out loud. Needless to say, I didn’t deliver without the epidural. The pitocin made sure of that. I will never know whether or not it would have been possible to have a baby without ‘drugs’ cuz both girls were induced. Doesn’t really matter. What matters is that they arrived healthy and beautiful! And now, my “baby” is a big girl on her way to becoming a young lady. Happy 7th birthday, Pumpkin!

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),


What? Wait?! What did you say?

So Christmas was last week, as I’m sure you all recall. Santa brought us a wii, wii fit & rock band ~all in all a great score of gifts as far as I’m concerned. There’s another story in there but I don’t have time to go into it all right now. Perhaps at another time. The reason for this post is to share the wonderful story of how… hold up I’m getting ahead of myself a little… let me step back and tell you about it from start to finish.

Since getting the wii, wii fit & rock band we’ve been playing these games just about non-stop. And having a blast while doing it, I might add. I suggested to Honey bunny that we try the wii golf. They have a 3-hole practice mode & I figured that would be a good start instead of doing the 9-hole game which would take waaaaaaay too much time, attention, and energy from both of us.

Anyway, so we got started and it was going along just fine until she got to a more challenging hole. Yep, that’s when it got *ahem* interesting. See, she was getting a little frustrated that she couldn’t get the ball around a tree (and what I find amusing about this is how realistic that scenario is… how many golfers get pissed when they’re stuck behind a tree or in a sand trap and they can’t get around/out?).

OK, what came next is really the crux of this post… so she says somewhat under her breath, “I hate it when the fuckin’ thing…” Uh huh, you read that right. My 9 YEAR OLD daughter said “fuckin”.

I looked at her and she looked at me. I asked her as calmly as possible, “did you actually just say what I think you said?” Immediately she runs over to me, throws her arms around me, and begins crying, “oh mommy, I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry!” I had flashbacks from the movie ‘A Christmas Story’. Well, I didn’t handle it quite like they did in the movie. I thought about putting soap in her mouth, I thought about sending her to her room, I thought about grounding her for a week but I didn’t do any of those things. Instead, I hugged her really tight and then had her look me in the face while I asked her not to say that kind of thing EVER AGAIN.

WHAT the heck was I to do?! I mean I’ve said the ‘F’ word in front of her on SEVERAL occasions (totally not on purpose, mind you)!!! Plus there’s the fact that she had just spent a day & a half with her older cousins. Much older cousins. Cousins that don’t watch what they say around younger kids. Cousins that only monitor the things they say when grown-ups are present. Do you sense a pattern here? I’m trying to blame it on the cousins. Of course I know it’s not entirely their fault. Yes! I do realize that it is my fault. I’m the Mom. It’s always my fault.

Hopefully, she freaked herself out enough worrying about my reaction that she won’t say that again. At least, in front of me.

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),

The third grader & the planet project

For the last week we’ve been helping Honey bunny with a project for school. She’s required to complete a report on the planet Saturn (her choice) which includes:

  1. 1-2 pages written by the child including a summarizing paragraph,
  2. a title page,
  3. a bibliography,
  4. 3×5 card with 4 facts,
  5. for her oral presentation,
  6. a 3-D model of the planet

Now, she has known about this project for over one month… has she worked on any of it until the week before it’s due? Um, that would be a big fat –No! What is it with always waiting until the last second before a project is due to begin working on said project?

And here’s the thing, I really didn’t like working on projects, assignments, blahbity blah blah when I was in school yet now I have to help my child! I don’t wanna do it. {stamps foot} Obviously, as her mother I am her primary teacher in life and a teacher’s assistant to her classroom teacher. Therefore, I will help her in any & every way that I can. But I’m not going to do it for her. Which is a discussion in & of itself for another day… parents who do the projects for their child because they believe the final result reflects on them as parents.

What really kills me is the drama & the whining & complaining & tantrums (and that’s just from me) that inevitably follow the announcement that it’s time once again for her to work on this project. Boy oh boy does this bring back memories from childhood. Like the arguments I had with my own mother about how and when to do the assignments. I’m having those same arguments with my daughter. And what I know is that this is only the beginning. Well who am I kidding? Since she’s been in school we’ve had arguments about how & when to do homework – not just special projects. She has a minimum 8 more years of school. On top of that, we’ve got Pumpkin to go through all this joy with as well. GOODY!

I’m not entirely sure if all the debating and arguing is because she’s as stubborn and strong-willed ~read: know-it-all~ as myself or if every child acts this way when it comes to homework and projects but I’ll tell you what, it’s annoying as hell.

Some of the items have been easy enough for her to start and finish on her own like the 3×5 card with 4 facts and the title page & bibliography. Some of the items, hmmmmmm, not so much. Like the summarizing paragraph portion of this assignment! It has taken her half a day. Ridiculous! I know. But she continually wants to write new facts or pieces of information and then has to start again from scratch. It has been so challenging trying to explain to her what the purpose is for the final paragraph especially given the fact that she is so apt to argue with me. Grrrrrr. Guess I should call my mom to apologize for all the years I fought with her over my homework. Oh, and that “mother’s curse” thing, it really works.

Well, Honey bunny’s gonna have this project wrapped up today if it’s the last thing I do. I’m tired of it hanging over our heads like a great big thunder cloud. That and I’ve got enough other tasks that need to be accomplished… say… getting all our tax papers together for the CPA.

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),


Oh, holy hell, I’m so not prepared for this.

Well, it seemed to me to be an ordinary, run-of-the-mill sort of day, boy-o was I going to find out different. I think they have a saying for this… ignorance is bliss. So we did the usual things during the day; school, work, karate, but it was during our ride home that I got hit by the mack truck – metaphorically speaking, of course. Honey bunny asked me about.. about.. about when she’s gonna have babies! Plus a number of other questions that are equally alarming to a mother who has her head buried in the sand about her daughter growing into a ‘tween’.

Now, the thing is, Pumpkin was in the car with us at this very same time. Which means that we couldn’t have the necessary conversation at that particular moment. Truth be told, I was quite happy about that fact because it provided a small reprieve for dear ol’ mom. And I could prepare myself for the conversation to come.

Once dinner was finished, though, it was time for “the talk”.

The husband wrangled Pumpkin into another room while Honey bunny & I chit chatted about the birds and the bees and the flowers and the trees, if ya know what I’m saying. {wink, wink}. I asked her what questions she had for me or if she had been talking with other friends at school – cause I’m certain that this is already happening despite my deep desire for the opposite to be true.

Her: So when a person has their period they can have babies.
Me: Yes, that’s exactly right.
Her: What if you don’t want to have babies?
Me: Then don’t have sex.
Her: But is there any other way?
Me: (OMFG! Yeah, but the hell if I’m talking to you about them right now!!) Yes, although I don’t think you’re ready to discuss that yet.
Her: Will you tell me when I get to junior high?
Me: Most definitely. (Shit, I’m thinking about how I can slip her a birth control pill every morning before she goes to school)
Her: OK

We continued to talk about a few other things and surprisingly with little-to-no embarrassment on either of our parts. It is just difficult to decide how much information is appropriate for her age & when more information is just too much. A very fine line, my friends. On the one hand, I wanted to speak frankly with her about how everything works and yet I didn’t want to overwhelm her to the point of horrifying her.

I suppose for our first real in depth “talk”, it went rather well. Oh, and in case you were wondering, I told her that our discussion was just between the two of us and not to be shared with her classmates. Imagine the phone calls from irate mothers.

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),

The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth

We’ve been having a slight challenge with Honey bunny telling us the truth about stuff. Even the most mundane things. Did you eat the last blueberry muffin? Have you finished your homework for today? Did you put your clean clothes away? Have you brushed your teeth yet? This morning it was about how much money the “tooth fairy” gave her for losing another tooth.
Now, I happen to know how much money the “tooth fairy” left under her pillow but when the husband & I asked her how much she scored for the tooth, she proceeded to tell us that she got four quarters. Wha huh??!! Uh, no you didn’t.

So, here is the sticky part. We know she actually got two $1 bills from the “tooth fairy” but obviously we can’t outright say you’re lying kid, we know how much it was, and it wasn’t no four quarters. And it’s not like we can keep grilling her about it. Well, we let it slide for the time being but as the husband was driving her to school, he told her that he was going to have Mommy send an email to the “tooth fairy” to find out how much money was left for the tooth. To which she replied, have Mommy ask the tooth fairy what she does with the teeth after she takes them away. Ok, this kid has nerve.

If you get right down to the heart of this, we aren’t telling her the truth either. We expect her to be completely truthful with us but we lie to her everyday about Christmas & Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy. I suppose you could say these are harmless things, just cute stories that are made up for children but ultimately it’s lying. That’s a topic for discussion another day. Let me tell you what happened after I picked her up from school….

As usual she is to start on her homework right away, well she did that without any arguments (for a change!). The husband came into my office and asked if we were ready to talk with her about what the “tooth fairy” had said in the email. I began by telling her that the “tooth fairy” told me she had left two $1 bills under her pillow and I asked her why she said she got four quarters.

Honey bunny: “Well I think because four quarters equals one dollar I maybe got them confused.”
Me: “Oooookkk, what about the fact that there were actually TWO dollars not just ONE dollar?”
Honey bunny: “I think what happened is that I maybe didn’t move the money to see that there was actually two of them”
Me: (thinking to myself) damn this kid’s gonna be a lawyer or really good criminal – Heaven forbid. “So you just picked the money up & folded it & then put it in your money jar?”
Honey bunny: “Yeah, I think that’s what happened”
Me (looking at the husband & communicating telepathically) this was a complete waste of time.

Clearly we never got to the bottom of the “tooth fairy” money & we’ve established that our child is a really good story fabricator who is excellent at following along with leading questions.

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),


The $100 store is now off limits

Silicon Valley Moms Blog: The End of a Love Affair

Funny that I was just twittering about this exact thing last week when I went to get Honey bunny’s BFF a birthday gift & bought about 10 other things I didn’t really need to be purchasing. So I’ve come to the same conclusion, it’s true, and sad so sad, but I whole-heartedly agree, I must not allow myself to go to Target ~also affectionately known as the $100 store among my aquaintances (you know, a take on the $1 store only waaayyy more expensive)~ as frequently.  It is sooooo difficult to resist the awesomey goodness of items to be found down each aisle.  And we have a BRAND SPANKING NEW Target right down from my house.   {weeping}  So it makes it even more challenging NOT to go there, oh, yeah, and it’s a *Super* Target so I can purchase some grocery/freezer stuff while also picking up books, movies, home decor, toys, shoes and clothes.  {sniffling}

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),