Hair roller hell or how I almost had to cut my kid’s hair outta rollers

I know I’m not the only Mom to which this situation has happened. But it’s never happened to me before! I nearly had to cut out 10 hair rollers from my Little Pumpkin’s hair!! All because of the BLEEPITY BLEEPING BLEEP hair rollers were all tangled in her hair!! And we had FIVE minutes before she had to leave for school! And I was panicking!! And she was screaming!! And there was crying!! And OMG HELP US!! I felt horrible, absolutely terrible about the whole ordeal. Her poor little scalp. Not to mention her psyche.

Well, despite all the screaming and crying it turned out all right. I was finally able to get her hair untangled from the roller’s teeth (which were really the culprits all along) WITHOUT cutting her hair at random points. Damn, that would have been a real nightmare. Probably these rollers weren’t meant for her length of hair anyway because of the teeth. Really, the damn things were given to my gremlins to pretend play beauty salon (or whatever) and I should have just thrown them away a long time ago. Which is EXACTLY what I did as soon as the husband & Pumpkin were on their way to school.

I just have to add, I did try to warn her about these particular rollers when I was putting them in her hair. We also have the foamy, squishy kind that DON’T get tangled in hair. But NOOOOO, she wanted to have these ones put in. So, lesson learned. Hopefully. What lesson do I hope that she learned? LISTEN to your mother. What lesson did I learn? Push your argument a little stronger.  Maybe, she’ll listen. Or most likely, she’ll still want her own way. What am I gonna do? She’s got a determined personality. Much like her mother & father.

 

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),

Ciao

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So busy I do not know whether I am coming or going

6a00d8345157d269e200e54f406e6b8833-640wiYeah, hi! So I don’t know about you but I’ve been so swamped that I seriously don’t know which way is up. It seems like every single blessed day is jam packed with so much activity. And the last couple weeks were the worse, worst, worstest? Between getting ready to go to Las Vegas, coming back & getting ready for Thanksgiving, cooking all day on Thanksgiving, cleaning up all the shite from Thanksgiving, pulling out all the Christmas decorations, organizing & setting up all the Christmas trees, lights, and decorations, then cleaning all the misc mess from that.  On top of dealing with the gremlins and regular ‘ol household chores, bills, and random stuff. My head hasn’t stopped spinning yet.

It’s a miracle I can even put these sentences together. And work is insane right now. I can’t figure out how I seem to have gotten so behind on stuff.

Every time I begin to think about the list of To Do items I still haven’t written down (let alone started doing) I feel a panic attack coming on. Christmas cards for friends, family, customers… Aaahhhhhhhhk. Christmas shopping for gifts for family & friends… Eeeehhhhhhk. Year end tax papers… Ooohhhhhhhk.  HALP!

stress-picture-stress-relief-kit

Oh, did I mention that I have to take the gremlins Christmas photo so that I can include it with the Christmas cards? No? What about the fact that Pumpkin hacked off two sections of hair right at her bangs? Did I tell you that part? No? Well yeah, she did that last Monday. At least I think I can strategically brush her hair so that it won’t “appear” to be HACKED off in two places. I don’t know why I’m surprised by her doing this. I shouldn’t be. Honey bunny did the same thing. It’s totally normal. But still RIGHT before I have to take their picture?! Could the timing be any better?

Well, anyway, thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),

Ciao

P.S. I’m gonna go avoid doing all the things I know I need to be doing just to F*CK things up for later. Cause I’m a rebel like that. And procrastination is my middle name, baby.

Homework and the restless, whining, avoidance child

homework

This is one of those, ‘I’m SO not prepared for this’ posts. I just want to bang my head on the table in frustration. She refuses to listen to my suggestions, argues with me about what the teacher wants, and just generally whines about the HORRIBLENESS of homework.  Plus, she’s whining about being tired (avoidance).  ‘I can barely keep my eyes open’ she wails.  Uh, that isn’t going to work kid.  It’s only 4:00pm in the afternoon!

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Well that helped, marginally.

You know, I seem to recall these types of encounters with my own mother. I’ll have to give her a call to apologize for being a KNOW-IT-ALL brat.  I suppose this is what happens when you have strong-willed personalities dealing with each other.

The thing that kills me is that she’s only in 3rd grade!!! I have 8 MORE YEARS of school with this child. This stuff is easy so what in the world will it be like when she gets into the hard homework??!!! Then, I still have Pumpkin to deal with. She hasn’t even started school yet. OMFG.

I truly admire those moms that have chosen to home school their children. You have far more patience than I do. You must, otherwise how could you do it? And with two & three children? I’m getting a headache just thinking about the prospect.

This day is one of those days that I question my sanity.  And my choices.  Why? Why? Why did we have children?  I love ’em but I’m frustrated as hell right now with this nonsense.  This behavior that makes me want to respond with violence or like committing Hara-Kari or running out into the middle of traffic.

You know what, this isn’t really helping.  I had hoped it would help me get over the frustration but it ain’t working.  BREATHING.  Slow breathing.  Picturing puppies.  And fields of tulips.  Waterfalls.  Naked men. {sigh}  OK, now I’m feeling better!

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),

Ciao

A “funny” thing happened on the way to lunch

I’m trying to decide whether to give you the long version or the short version.  Or the medium short version.  Or the semi-long version.  How much time have you got?  Well I’ll give you the semi-medium long version because you’re probably skimming anyway.

Ok, here goes, just a bit of back story first.  Honey bunny is afraid of needles.  I blame this on her father & grandfather who have some how managed to pass this fear onto her either by genetics or osmosis or whathaveyou.  In any case she doesn’t like needles.  Now.  She’s been wanting to get her ears pierced for a couple of years.  Initially I told her she had to wait till she was older.  Then on her birthday I told her if she wanted them pierced, then we’d get them done.  Her fear overcame her desire to be like her friends – most of whom have had their ears pierced for ages.  So, ok fine, we’ll wait a bit longer, no biggie.

Well, this last week she told me she was really ready.  Really really this time.

As it happened we had to go to the mall to find a birthday gift for my dad and happy coincidence we’d be in the very place that housed Claire’s.  If you don’t have girl children or aren’t a women, then you’ll have zero idea of the place I speak.  However, if you are a woman or have girl children, then you know this store is the Mecca of all things girly.

Our first stop was Claire’s to get the piercing over & done with since Honey bunny was beginning to get nervous about the whole needle/pain/fear of unknown experience.  There was only one girl working in the store.  And it took her forever to come over, get things set-up, fill out the paperwork (because they have to protect their asses in case of a screw-up or infection or blah blah blah).  This delay was causing Honey bunny to think more, more, more about the needles/pain/fear of unknown.  FINALLY!  The chick was ready to do the piercing.  At this point, Honey bunny has begun to alternately hold her breath & breath in and out really fast. You can imagine what this was doing to her physically.

I held tight to Honey bunny’s hand while the chick put the ear-piercing apparatus up to my child’s ear lobe. I was using my best soothing Mommy voice to try to keep Honey bunny from completely flipping out and began counting down 3…2…1… expecting the chick to pierce her ear at ‘1’ like any normal person with half a brain would do but did she? NO! I got to ‘1’ and she waited like 5 seconds later then pierced her ear. WTF?! We moved on to Honey’s other ear lobe and did the count down again… this time I’m thinking ok she must know to do this thing on ‘1’ but does she? NO! AGAIN! She waited 5 seconds before doing the piercing.

This whole time Honey bunny has been silently crying, holding her breath, and squeezing my hand. Well, it was at last over so I did my best to cheer her for her bravery, congratulate her on the new jewellery, and get her to breath normally!

I look down at my little Pumpkin, who I should have known would be watching the whole thing go down, and she is pale as can be with no color in her lips AT ALL. She tells me, “mommy I don’t feel good in my tummy, I think I’m gonna throw up”. She begins gagging!! I start freaking out because I’ve never seen her so pale & she’s threatening to throw up in the middle of a store. Meanwhile Honey bunny is saying to me, “mommy, I see blue spots and I can’t really hear and I think I’m gonna be sick”. All I can think is: ARE YOU FREAKIN KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW???!!!

So I tell Honey bunny to stay in the chair, don’t get up, and breath slowly. I take Pumpkin out of the store to distract her from being sick – look over there! Oh, what about that thing! Did you see those over there?! – this does not help. We go back into the store so I can pay for this ear piercing nightmare. We all go over to the register and Honey bunny is still complaining about throwing up so I get her standing in front of a big trash bag. The chick starts ringing us up and Pumpkin is falling asleep on my should but more like passing out than sleeping so I begin massaging her face and her arm and talking to her in a loud voice telling her to wake up.

As if the clerk is finally noticing all the HELL I’m going thru, she offers to get the girls lollipops. Maybe it will help, she offers. YA THINK? Honey bunny starts sucking on the lollipop right away but Pumpkin refuses it, flatout. Not much I can do about that. I paid the bill and we left the store.

We are just about to the food court when I see there’s a Jamba Juice and I think – hey, this place sells stuff with a lot of sugar in it. perhaps it will help these children feel better! So we’re standing in line about to order our drinks when Pumpkin throws up ~mind you, I’m holding her in my arms~ all over her shirt, her dolly, and on part of the floor. Two things go through my mind: one, did any of it get on me ANYWHERE? and two, how fast can we disappear to the bathroom to get cleaned up?

To make this long story a little bit shorter, I’ll wrap this up by saying… I got Pumpkin cleaned up but we went to Target & I bought her a new shirt to wear since we still hadn’t bought my dad’s gift or gone to lunch with my mom & sister. They both got Jamba Juice and it did help them to feel better. I, on the other hand, did not get Jamba juice and I was still a bit shell shocked from the whole experience. But Honey bunny is thrilled with her earrings – she got Amethyst colored stones – and she has spent the last 4 days showing everyone her new earrings. So all ended well.

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),
Ciao

I’m playing the single mom this week or better known as these kids are going to kill me and it’s only Tuesday

The husband and I do a fairly decent job of dividing up tasks related to the children.  Well, all tasks if you get right down to it.  So when he has to go out of town for any reason & for any length of time it throws the whole system out of whack.  It’s not just me that feels it; the gremlins feel the pain too.  There is more rushing, more yelling, more rushing, less time for lounging in PJs, more yelling.  You get the picture.

Well a couple weeks back he went out of town with his folks for a couple days, leaving me home to manage the homestead & the gremlins.  It was only two days and it felt like an eternity.  This time it’s for a whole week.  That means I have to take Honey bunny and Pumpkin to school in the morning!  Yeah, I’m sure that there are some of you out there (maybe only one of you that actually read this) that have to take both children ~or however many children you have, I really couldn’t say cause I may or may not know you & your children~ to school each day.  I’m sorry.  I’m just not used to it!  I’m not used to making the lunches.  I’m not used to leaving the house at 7:25am in order to get Honey bunny to school on time.  I know!  I know.  I know.  What genius decided that the children should start school at 7:45am?!  And then let them out at 1:50pm!?  This is not at all helpful for people who work.  Either times. 

Alright, that sort of got off topic.  But like tonight, making dinner, doing the dishes, and then having to do the bath time thing.  Usually he’s here to run interference for me.  It at least buys me some time to finish up one thing or another.  Without him here?  I’m forced to beg, BEG the children to PLEASE assist me and stop hitting your sister and no, its not ok for you to watch that tv show and go brush your blasted teeth for the 1,000 time.  It’s a tough gig.  And despite the fact that I put Pumpkin into bed at 7pm doesn’t mean she’ll stay there or even go to sleep for like an hour or two.  Instead, I get to play pinball between the two girls rooms… except I’m the ball & you don’t want to be the ball.  You want to be the one hitting the ball between all the thingamabobs that score points.  Really, it’s exhausting.  Oh, and not forgetting to mention the fact that Pumpkin wakes up with the chickens.  Around 5am -ish she’s standing next to my side of the bed telling me she’s ready for breakfast.  I’m ready for my breakfast Mommy, get up.  Nice.       

There is one thing that I like about the husband being out on business… I get the t.v. remote!  Finally.  But this poses a challenge for me as well because now I have to make a decision.  Watch a movie?  Which movie?  Watch t.v. shows?  Which t.v. shows?  Or do I read a book?  Like the 600 page book club book that we’re currently reading?  Or do I twitter or blog?  Or browse around twittermoms?  What about the 609 items waiting in bloglines – yes, really 609 as of this minute – do I read those?  Decisions .. decisions.  I’ll make it through, no doubt about it.  Thankfully it’s only a temporary deal.  Not that much time left before he returns!  You can do it.  Think positive!  Tomorrow will be a better day, one can only hope. 

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),

Ciao

Am I forgetting something? Like my brain?

I swear to you the last couple weeks I’ve had these periods of intense anxiety where I feel as if I’m forgetting to do something or be somewhere.  Like I’ve left my child unattended in a shopping mall or I’ve left the curling iron plugged in & on high.  I begin to panic, frantically look around, and do a mental rundown of all the people in my life; Honey bunny is at camp -no karate today, Pumpkin is at day care -she’s fine, Husband is working -he’s good.  I’ve already done my walking today & I don’t have to go to the gym.  Next, I open my calendar and look over the days events; I don’t have a hair appt, doctor appt, nail appt, or psychotherapist appt (just kidding on the last one ~ although it might be about time to see one when you start having panic/anxiety attacks).  Heh.

Over scheduled much?  Probably.  Next week Honey bunny starts school so maybe that’s it.  Only 23 more days until the BIG WALK, maybe that’s it?  It just seems to be this nebulous unknown thing floating around in my brain that is making me think I’ve forgotten something.  Something REALLY IMPORTANT.  To be honest, it sucks A**.  I’m just saying.  I don’t have time to be having panic attacks or wasting time racking my brain for whatever event or task I think I’m forgetting.

Perhaps its that I generally operate behind the 8 ball… always reacting instead of being proactive.  You know what I mean, like preparing stuff in advance.  Making lunches the night before not 5 minutes before we need to leave the house.  Setting clothes out for the gremlins at night as opposed to arguing/debating/begging/pleading for them to pick out outfits that are appropriate for the day while dragging their stuff to the car. Having ONE location for ALL SHOES instead of running all over the house willy nilly desperately searching of the matching shoe to the pair of shoes that Pumpkin MUST wear that day or all HELL will break loose. I think you see where I’m going.   

So what do I do about it?! How can I make it stop? Will it just go away on its own? Will I be forced to get my act together so life doesn’t seem so out of control? Shit. Who knows? I’m going for the “I hope it will go away on it’s own” route. Wish me luck.

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),
Ciao

 

 

 

P.S. And here’s the credit where credit is due.  I used the brain image that I found here. Thanks peeps for the excellent image – which was the perfect pict for my purposes.

Tuesday Toot #3

 And, yet again, I forgot to take photographic evidence of the disaster area that I like to refer to as home. Although, I would have had to take 6 pictures as evidential proof since there were 6 rooms in our house that needed cleaning. Let me list them for you now:

  1. The Living Room
  2. Honey Bunny’s Bedroom
  3. Pumpkin’s Bedroom
  4. Our bedroom
  5. Our bathroom
  6. The Kitchen

To begin, the living room was littered with toys, drink cups, napkins, random blocks, straws, and shoes.  Honey bunny’s bedroom literally look like a tornado had recently come roaring through.  Pieces of paper, books, shoes shoes and more shoes scattered about, dvds, cds, computer games, and yesterday’s clothes/last night’s pjs lay hither and yon.  Pumpkin’s bedroom was the worst.  And in this case I REALLY wish I had a photo to share the condition.  Her closet actually looked as if it was throwing up stuffed animals, books, cards, fancy dresses, tiaras, baby dolls and their clothes.  Our bedroom wasn’t too bad… just an odd blanket or toy left lying about (and when I say toy, I’m referring to children’s toys not anything perverted).  Our bathroom, again, wasn’t all that bad.  Only a few toys including several pieces to Pumpkin’s tea set – yeah the one given to her by my sister at Christmas, the one I complained about before, and if I could find the post where I complained about it, then I’d redirect you but I’m too tired & I can’t find it.  The kitchen counter was basically the problem area of that room.  Upon entering the kitchen there is a long countertop that has become the dumping ground of all things coming home for the day.  Lunchboxes – check, school papers – check, mail – check, stuffed animals – check, game boys – check, shoes – check. 

Allrighty then.  Hopefully you now have a general idea of the overall messiness that permeated our home.  Well, tonight I decided that I was not going to be the only one cleaning the dang shit up.  ATTENTION!  CALLING ALL CHILDREN!  Yeah, I made the kids pick up their belongings and put them in their own rooms.  *gasp*  Then I made them put AWAY all the above referenced items into their proper places. *noooo*  I had to help Pumkpin the most since she is only 3 yrs old and easily distracted. 

I’d say it probably took us a good hour to get all the rooms cleaned.  But we did it!  And I am so thrilled to say that we can open and close Pumpkin’s closet doors.  No more vomitting of toys, clothes, stuffed animals!  WHOOP WHOOP!  I barely tolerated a boat load of complaining, whining, arguing, and negotiating from Honey bunny.  It only required me taking away her DS for a week to get her total submission obedient cooperation.  Muahhahahahahaha.

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),

Ciao