Heaven help us

We're gonna have an official teenager in our midst very, very soon. GAH!! Oh, sure we've been getting the tween attitude for a while now but my Honey bunny is officially turning teen in less than 3 days. You know what scares me about this whole situation, beyond the typical teenagery stuff, she has internet access! She knows the name of my blog! At any point in time she can type in the url, be whizzed away, and read EVERY LAST THING I've written about her, her sister, myself, and at times, her father on this VERY BLOG!! Not to mention the random posts about whathaveyou, that until this point in time I've never worried about her reading.

NOW! Now, I am most assuredly freaking out. Probably there is no reason to have a conniption fit before the fact. I just tend to do that sort of thing, you understand.

But I digress, my baby is becoming a teenager. The HELL. My BABY is becoming a teenager. Hold on a sec while I process that thought… Ok, I'm back.

The two of us have been party planning for awhile now. It's a delicate balance between kids party and non-kids party. She decided to invite some boys this year. Oooooohh! I know. Boys!! The husband & I are figuring that we'll be kept on our toes by this gathering since it's at our house. She wondered out-loud to me, what if there's an awkward moment or we don't know what to say. So we've been detailing what to do for the whole time to try to minimize any weirdness. I hope for her sake that this party is fun for her & her friends.

I'm so proud of her and all she's accomplished in her life to-date. I'm sure I'll be even more proud of her in the years to come. Probably we won't always get along in these up-coming years but it'll no doubt be interesting!

Happy 13th birthday to my Honey bunny!!

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),




Reduce, Reuse, Recycle or more like reuse, recycle and reuse again

The title of this post might lead you to believe that I’m gonna discuss how to be good to planet Earth. But you’d be WRONG! I don’t really care about the planet. I kid, I kid. I care a little. Ok, so really this is an idea that I picked up from Enna’s blog and specifically her post “Pork from a year ago”. It got me thinking that I should reminisce about the past some more and maybe share with you good folks a few of my posts from the past. Sort of like ghosts from the past. But less ghostly. It only took me months to complete. Heh.

Now, are you starting to get the tie-in with my title? You all have brains, I’m sure I don’t need to explain it anymore. Reading through these old post also reminds me that there once was a time when I actually wrote posts with a central topic, a beginning, a middle, and an end. Oh well. Life is busier now. And I don’t have as much time to focus on my writing.

I’ll start this out with a post from my other blog that I seem to have forgotten existed until a nice person commented on this post about growing up. The scary thing is it was from nearly 3 freakin’ years ago. Holy mother of —. THREE years. And the angst that I was feeling then has multiplied by infinity. You can do the math.

This post is one in which I frustrate my daughter. Mwahahahahaha. I’m so glad I get to torture her every now and again.

Still haven’t figured out how to keep everyone from yelling at each other.

How about this… mommy has a tantrum the likes of which no one has ever seen before. I still haven’t gotten my time out.

Bedtime = funtime or not really. Although I must say, it is getting a smidge easier since Pumpkin is getting older.

In which I have to have the talk with Honey bunny.

I need a wife to do my laundry cause I really don’t like to do laundry. But then who in their right mind likes to do laundry?

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),

Oh, holy hell, I’m so not prepared for this.

Well, it seemed to me to be an ordinary, run-of-the-mill sort of day, boy-o was I going to find out different. I think they have a saying for this… ignorance is bliss. So we did the usual things during the day; school, work, karate, but it was during our ride home that I got hit by the mack truck – metaphorically speaking, of course. Honey bunny asked me about.. about.. about when she’s gonna have babies! Plus a number of other questions that are equally alarming to a mother who has her head buried in the sand about her daughter growing into a ‘tween’.

Now, the thing is, Pumpkin was in the car with us at this very same time. Which means that we couldn’t have the necessary conversation at that particular moment. Truth be told, I was quite happy about that fact because it provided a small reprieve for dear ol’ mom. And I could prepare myself for the conversation to come.

Once dinner was finished, though, it was time for “the talk”.

The husband wrangled Pumpkin into another room while Honey bunny & I chit chatted about the birds and the bees and the flowers and the trees, if ya know what I’m saying. {wink, wink}. I asked her what questions she had for me or if she had been talking with other friends at school – cause I’m certain that this is already happening despite my deep desire for the opposite to be true.

Her: So when a person has their period they can have babies.
Me: Yes, that’s exactly right.
Her: What if you don’t want to have babies?
Me: Then don’t have sex.
Her: But is there any other way?
Me: (OMFG! Yeah, but the hell if I’m talking to you about them right now!!) Yes, although I don’t think you’re ready to discuss that yet.
Her: Will you tell me when I get to junior high?
Me: Most definitely. (Shit, I’m thinking about how I can slip her a birth control pill every morning before she goes to school)
Her: OK

We continued to talk about a few other things and surprisingly with little-to-no embarrassment on either of our parts. It is just difficult to decide how much information is appropriate for her age & when more information is just too much. A very fine line, my friends. On the one hand, I wanted to speak frankly with her about how everything works and yet I didn’t want to overwhelm her to the point of horrifying her.

I suppose for our first real in depth “talk”, it went rather well. Oh, and in case you were wondering, I told her that our discussion was just between the two of us and not to be shared with her classmates. Imagine the phone calls from irate mothers.

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),

Cavity? What do you mean she has a f#@%ing cavity?!

Shocked! That’s how I felt when the dentist told me Pumpkin had a f#@%ing cavity. Dismayed. I still can’t believe it. Well, I guess I can believe it, since we haven’t always been as diligent as we could be brushing her teeth. She’s child #2, my little Pumpkin, my 3 year old. Does this mean anything to you? Maybe not. Perhaps those of you that have more than one child? Tell me you understand. Please? Lie to me.

I feel so bad for Pumpkin because it’s like this cavity is representative of the lack of attention she has received from her father and myself. I’m not saying that we neglect her… it’s just that circumstances are different now in comparison to the time Honey bunny was 3 years old. We are way busier now with our business. Happily it has grown these last 9 years, however that means that I’m not home with her as much as I was with her big sister. And I have more work to do while at home, both for the business & general household chores. Not to mention the karate two days a week (soon to be four days a week).

I must say, though, that you have NO IDEA how this one little cavity makes me feel like a GINORMOUS failure as a mom. And yeah, it is my fault. I’m supposed to be brushing her teeth before she goes to bed & when she’s getting ready in the morning. Don’t try to take my mommy guilt away from me. But don’t judge me either! Heh.

Honey bunny never had a cavity – still hasn’t had a cavity! But then again, either I’m brushing her teeth or she’s doing it herself twice a day. You might actually say, we’ve been fastidious in her teeth brushing.

Well, on Wednesday morning I will be taking Pumpkin in to the dentist office to have the cavity filled. ACK. Even typing it is giving me the heebie jeebies. I have had my share of cavities filled but this is my little baby were talking about!! They’re gonna have to give her laughing gas. {weeping} God, I feel so terrible. She’s not supposed to have any food or drinks three hours before the appointment in order to reduce the chances of nausea. I won’t even be allowed in the room when they do this thing. I might have to tell them that I will be there – regardless. Although, having me stay in the waiting room might actually reduce Pumpkin’s anxiety (and my anxiety from watching all this unfold).

So, I’m waiting apprehensively for Wednesday to be here & then go away just as fast so this “experience” will be over and done.

Oh, and just in case you were wondering, I’ve been *very* conscientious in Pumpkin’s teeth brushing ritual since learning of the offending cavity. We are brushing them every night before bed and every morning before we leave for school.

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),


P.S. I may have an update for this “experience” after Wednesday… we’ll see how it goes.

Mommy is a winner

So, I got m’self a speeding ticket today.  My first ever.  I know, I know, amazing, right??!  I mean how is it possible that I got a speeding ticket?  Who gets speeding tickets?  Well, me evidently.  But what else is amazing is that it’s my first.  I’m not a spring chicken anymore so I’ve got a few years driving under my belt.  And most of those years I’ve spent speeding everywhere.  On the freeway, through town, it doesn’t matter.  I almost never allow enough time to get where I need to go… speeding is a way of life for me.  Not to mention I drive an SUV with a V8 engine that has a lot of power and can go fast.  Today was just like any other day, except it was my turn.   

Here’s the scoop:
Pumpkin and I were heading into town to go to daycare this morning and in order to get to daycare we have to pass the high school.  Today good ol’ officer so-n-so was camped out in front of the school on his motorcycle with his trusty radar gun, unbeknownst to me.  We’re happily driving along (me excited that it’s still early enough that I’ll have time to stop off at Starbucks, gets some coffee, and write more of my terrible 1st novel) when BAM I look up and see officer so-n-so lower his radar gun and pull out into traffic right behind me!  I’m the lucky winner today!  Because, to be honest with you, I didn’t think I was going any faster than anyone else driving in front of me or behind me.  Welp, officer so-n-so was very nice asking if it had been a million years since I’ve gotten a ticket ~hey, I think I look pretty good for my age~ then asking for my license, registration, and proof of insurance, he went off to write me a ticket.  You didn’t actually think he would let me go, did you?  I was praying he would let me off the hook… I mean I did tell him it was my first speeding ticket EVER, unfortunately, I was speeding in front of a school for Pete’s sake!!  They take that kind of speeding more serious than any other kind.  He was incredibly helpful in not writing the ticket up for the actual speed I was driving but for 35 mph in a 25 mph zone.  This will save my hide.  Now I can just go to traffic school or complete some course online and POOF off my record, thank the Lord.

Anyway, so Pumpkin was quietly watching all that was happening from the comfort of her car seat and when we pulled back out into traffic she asked me, “mommy, what did he give you?”  I replied, “he gave me a ticket for going too fast.”  She excitedly shouts, “mommy is a winner, she got a ticket!”  Ooookkkk.  Not exactly.  Next she proceeded to sing, “mommy is a tattle tell, mommy is a tattle tell, mommy got a ticket, mommy is a winner” until we arrived at her daycare.  Oh the joy.

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),


Here’s a quick one

I just love having my children invade my privacy.  Like when I am trying to go to the bathroom and they are crowded around me, staring at me.  We can add this delightful event to the ever growing list of embarrassing moments.  This morning I was attempting to use a “Feminine product” and Pumpkin is asking me 20 questions!  What is that?  Why do you have that?  What is that for?  Why do you have two of them?  Now, I don’t really want to be discussing “feminine products” with my 2 yr old, let alone why I need TWO “of them“!  I mean, really!  This is just something I would rather not do.  And no, I’m not going to discuss it with you either.  Ssseeehhsh.  So I’m doing my best to get her to leave me the HELL alone, without actually telling her to LEAVE me the HELL ALONE while I’m in the bathroom!  Cuz, you know, that might hurt her feelings.

And the thing that irks me, the children rarely bother the husband when HE is in the bathroom.  What’s up with that (insert Jerry Seinfeld voice)?!

All right, enough of that topic.  Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),