Glimpse into the future

**Note: This post was written back in April! I found it in draft mode & finally finished it. Busy much?! The sentiment remain true regardless of the date.**

I've been given a glimpse into my future. Yes, it's true. “How?”, you may ask. And no, I didn't go see a psychic or some such thing. I'll tell you how. The other day the husband and I dropped our two gremlins off to spend a few days with the grandparents. Hallelujah for grandparents!! Seriously. Without them, we would never be able to do anything. Oh, sure, we could find a babysitter for an occasional night out but nothing like this… Five nights and five days of being off the parenting hook, if you will.

So, back to how I've seen my future, I've just spent the whole day doing WHATEVER I want to do! I went and had a pedicure done yesterday, had spa treatments done today, and tomorrow the husband & I are flying out to Las Vegas for some REAL adult fun. Gambling, drinking, dancing, dining at fancy restaurants that have even fancier names, and more gambling! Yeah, I know, we're probably going to hell but at least we'll have good company.

See, the thing is I'm CERTAIN I'll miss my girlies when they're not living at home with us, however that time is not now. I enjoy the breaks that we get to take from each other and truth be told the gremlins love it too because they're endlessly spoiled by their grandparents. I'm pretty sure they're happier with the grandparents than with us. And why wouldn't they be?! They're getting everything they want, whenever they want it. Practically on a silver platter!

I guess I'll just have to be patient and yet again savor the now for I know that only too soon it'll be the future and I'll miss these crazy child rearing days.

 

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),

Ciao!

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Married with children

I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again, I don’t want to rush or wish these years away. However, there is a part of me that can’t wait till my gremlins are grown up and away at college. Why? Because being married and being married with children is NOT the same thing.

I’m sure you know what I’m talking about.

Your relationship with your spouse is majorly affected by children. Right? Would you agree with me on this? Well, if you don’t, then you’re an idiot.

How I interacted with my husband while it was just the two of us is COMPLETELY different than how I interact with him now that we have two daughters. And I know the same is true for him.

All of my childhood, all of his childhood, our experiences with our parents, our experiences with friends, all the cumulative experiences we had growing up play a part in who we are now and how we parent or how we believe we should parent our kids. No duh. But the major problem with this is that we don’t always agree on how we should teach, discipline, reward, punish, and love the children.

Here is the crux of the situation. Not agreeing with each other creates a perfect environment for fighting. Especially when you have two STRONG willed personalities. Personalities that believe they’re always right.

Oh, we got along splendidly when it was just the two of us. When it became the three and then the four of us it wasn’t always so smooth.

I’m not saying it’s bad. Not by ANY stretch. Our life together and our marriage has become stronger than ever before. Deeper, more meaningful. Having children has created challenges, though, unlike anything we EVER thought possible. (Or maybe it was only me dreaming of a perfect life with perfectly behaved children.)

This is why I’m saying I wish the kids were grown up. Because it was sooooooooooo much easier without them! Although I would never trade it. Now that I know what it is like to have the children, I would not ever choose to give them up. They are far, far too precious to me. They have taught me so much. I always use to believe that the kids don’t teach the parents anything. I couldn’t have been MORE wrong. The learning process is so much harder than anything I’ve ever had to learn before. And it very much does happen. The depth of soul searching & questioning is rivaled only by that of being confronted with the death of a parent or someone else as important. At least as far as I’m concerned.

But my gremlins have been great play partners as well! How else would I have a perfect excuse to watch cartoons, learn about Pokemon, and see Justin Beiber movies?!

There are times, many times, when I can’t wait to get to the point when my husband & I can be the two of us again without constant interruptions and disputes.

But! This means wishing my children’s youth away & wishing my own “youth” away as well. And missing out on all these experiences that truly make up a full life. Frankly, I don’t want to be that much closer to death. I’ve still got too much livin’ to do.

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),

Ciao

Posted via email from Mother Musing

Siblings

What is it about some kids that makes it nearly impossible for them to get along with their brothers or sisters?
What is it inside that sparks the jealousy and desire to steal parental attention?
And why does it happen even when the parents try to provide equal attention to both children?
What is inside one child to needle, tease, and irritate the other? No matter how many F-ing times you tell me to stop it.
How many more times am I gonna have to say, “for the love of Pete would you leave your sister alone!” or “you two need to get along!”
Sometimes separation works (and at times is absolutely necessary for the survival of the children) but honestly that doesn’t teach them how to work stuff out.
In the real world we have to deal with all different personalities. There isn’t always the chance to just walk away from a person that is up in yer grill. You have to stay to figure it out. Well, what an excellent time to learn how to do that.
The problem for me is how frequently the arguing & fighting is occurring. It has my nerves frazzled beyond belief.
You know what, I don’t remember fighting with my sister as much as these two do.
There are times, rare, rare times when they get along, talk nicely to each other, and help each other. It is like heaven come down to earth. You think I’m exaggerating? For me it feels like heaven.
Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),
Ciao

Posted via email from Mother Musing

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle or more like reuse, recycle and reuse again

The title of this post might lead you to believe that I’m gonna discuss how to be good to planet Earth. But you’d be WRONG! I don’t really care about the planet. I kid, I kid. I care a little. Ok, so really this is an idea that I picked up from Enna’s blog and specifically her post “Pork from a year ago”. It got me thinking that I should reminisce about the past some more and maybe share with you good folks a few of my posts from the past. Sort of like ghosts from the past. But less ghostly. It only took me months to complete. Heh.

Now, are you starting to get the tie-in with my title? You all have brains, I’m sure I don’t need to explain it anymore. Reading through these old post also reminds me that there once was a time when I actually wrote posts with a central topic, a beginning, a middle, and an end. Oh well. Life is busier now. And I don’t have as much time to focus on my writing.

I’ll start this out with a post from my other blog that I seem to have forgotten existed until a nice person commented on this post about growing up. The scary thing is it was from nearly 3 freakin’ years ago. Holy mother of —. THREE years. And the angst that I was feeling then has multiplied by infinity. You can do the math.

This post is one in which I frustrate my daughter. Mwahahahahaha. I’m so glad I get to torture her every now and again.

Still haven’t figured out how to keep everyone from yelling at each other.

How about this… mommy has a tantrum the likes of which no one has ever seen before. I still haven’t gotten my time out.

Bedtime = funtime or not really. Although I must say, it is getting a smidge easier since Pumpkin is getting older.

In which I have to have the talk with Honey bunny.

I need a wife to do my laundry cause I really don’t like to do laundry. But then who in their right mind likes to do laundry?

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),
Ciao

Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream, or at least less arguing at bedtime

Bedtime is such a pleasant time in our household. Bwhahahahahaha. No, not really. It is, and I’m sure this comes as no surprise to you, a challenge. As it probably is in your household as well. I’m guessing. But I suppose I could be wrong. Maybe it’s a breeze for you. If it is, then DON’T tell me. I wanna keep believing that I’m not alone in this nightmare.

Anywhoo, with two gremlins at two diverse age groups with two different bedtimes, it is quite a bit of work. But perhaps I’m making this harder on myself than necessary. Let me explain… right now I begin getting Pumpkin ready for bed at roughly 6:30pm. This includes bath, getting pjs on, teeth brushing, reading a couple books, back rubbing for a minute or so, hugs or three, kisses, more hugs, and more kisses, a cup of water, a trip to the bathroom. More water. Now take all that and times it by two because at approx 7:45pm I’m doing this same thing all over again for Honey bunny. Only with fewer books (since she can read on her own) and less help with the putting on of pjs and teeth brushing because really she’s nine. She’s been doing this for awhile.

If I just put them to bed at the same time it probably wouldn’t be as bad. Or I could be totally deluding myself.

Honey bunny would whine & moan & stomp & whine (yes, I wrote that again intentionally), oh and let us not forget the backtalking! and attitude! about going to bed so early if I switched her bedtime to match that of Pumpkin’s. On the other hand, if I allow Pumpkin to stay up until Honey bunny’s bedtime, then I’ll end up having to deal with an extra extra grumpy little gremlin come morning.

As it is right now Pumpkin ends up staying awake until after 8pm because of all the activity that is still taking place throughout the house. She’s in and out of her bed nearly a half dozen times before she finally settles down to sleep. RIDICULOUSNESS! And there is only so many times I can say, “Pumpkin, get back in bed!”

I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m being manipulated by my 4 year old. Actually, I’ll say it, I am being manipulated by my 4 year old. Sheesh. But what the hell am I supposed to do – tie her to the bed? I’m kidding. I have only thought about doing that a couple 1,000 times, I wouldn’t really, actually, *in fact* tie her to the bed. Do you think that would work? Still kidding. Heh.

What to do… what to do. I’m too tired to keep fighting this battle. I want to go get some sleep at some point before midnight! And I want to do it without arguing, fighting, crying, and whining & that’s all on my part.

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),
Ciao

Homework and the restless, whining, avoidance child

homework

This is one of those, ‘I’m SO not prepared for this’ posts. I just want to bang my head on the table in frustration. She refuses to listen to my suggestions, argues with me about what the teacher wants, and just generally whines about the HORRIBLENESS of homework.  Plus, she’s whining about being tired (avoidance).  ‘I can barely keep my eyes open’ she wails.  Uh, that isn’t going to work kid.  It’s only 4:00pm in the afternoon!

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Well that helped, marginally.

You know, I seem to recall these types of encounters with my own mother. I’ll have to give her a call to apologize for being a KNOW-IT-ALL brat.  I suppose this is what happens when you have strong-willed personalities dealing with each other.

The thing that kills me is that she’s only in 3rd grade!!! I have 8 MORE YEARS of school with this child. This stuff is easy so what in the world will it be like when she gets into the hard homework??!!! Then, I still have Pumpkin to deal with. She hasn’t even started school yet. OMFG.

I truly admire those moms that have chosen to home school their children. You have far more patience than I do. You must, otherwise how could you do it? And with two & three children? I’m getting a headache just thinking about the prospect.

This day is one of those days that I question my sanity.  And my choices.  Why? Why? Why did we have children?  I love ’em but I’m frustrated as hell right now with this nonsense.  This behavior that makes me want to respond with violence or like committing Hara-Kari or running out into the middle of traffic.

You know what, this isn’t really helping.  I had hoped it would help me get over the frustration but it ain’t working.  BREATHING.  Slow breathing.  Picturing puppies.  And fields of tulips.  Waterfalls.  Naked men. {sigh}  OK, now I’m feeling better!

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),

Ciao

Husbands create 7 hours of extra housework a week: study | Lifestyle | Reuters

Why am I not at all surprised by this?  Are you surprised?  Probably not.  Check it out and maybe leave a comment here about the lamest excuse your husband gave for not doing a household chore!

Husbands create 7 hours of extra housework a week: study | Lifestyle | Reuters

**Special thanks to these folks for the picture I used above.