Oh, holy hell, I’m so not prepared for this.

Well, it seemed to me to be an ordinary, run-of-the-mill sort of day, boy-o was I going to find out different. I think they have a saying for this… ignorance is bliss. So we did the usual things during the day; school, work, karate, but it was during our ride home that I got hit by the mack truck – metaphorically speaking, of course. Honey bunny asked me about.. about.. about when she’s gonna have babies! Plus a number of other questions that are equally alarming to a mother who has her head buried in the sand about her daughter growing into a ‘tween’.

Now, the thing is, Pumpkin was in the car with us at this very same time. Which means that we couldn’t have the necessary conversation at that particular moment. Truth be told, I was quite happy about that fact because it provided a small reprieve for dear ol’ mom. And I could prepare myself for the conversation to come.

Once dinner was finished, though, it was time for “the talk”.

The husband wrangled Pumpkin into another room while Honey bunny & I chit chatted about the birds and the bees and the flowers and the trees, if ya know what I’m saying. {wink, wink}. I asked her what questions she had for me or if she had been talking with other friends at school – cause I’m certain that this is already happening despite my deep desire for the opposite to be true.

Her: So when a person has their period they can have babies.
Me: Yes, that’s exactly right.
Her: What if you don’t want to have babies?
Me: Then don’t have sex.
Her: But is there any other way?
Me: (OMFG! Yeah, but the hell if I’m talking to you about them right now!!) Yes, although I don’t think you’re ready to discuss that yet.
Her: Will you tell me when I get to junior high?
Me: Most definitely. (Shit, I’m thinking about how I can slip her a birth control pill every morning before she goes to school)
Her: OK

We continued to talk about a few other things and surprisingly with little-to-no embarrassment on either of our parts. It is just difficult to decide how much information is appropriate for her age & when more information is just too much. A very fine line, my friends. On the one hand, I wanted to speak frankly with her about how everything works and yet I didn’t want to overwhelm her to the point of horrifying her.

I suppose for our first real in depth “talk”, it went rather well. Oh, and in case you were wondering, I told her that our discussion was just between the two of us and not to be shared with her classmates. Imagine the phone calls from irate mothers.

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),


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