A “funny” thing happened on the way to lunch

I’m trying to decide whether to give you the long version or the short version.  Or the medium short version.  Or the semi-long version.  How much time have you got?  Well I’ll give you the semi-medium long version because you’re probably skimming anyway.

Ok, here goes, just a bit of back story first.  Honey bunny is afraid of needles.  I blame this on her father & grandfather who have some how managed to pass this fear onto her either by genetics or osmosis or whathaveyou.  In any case she doesn’t like needles.  Now.  She’s been wanting to get her ears pierced for a couple of years.  Initially I told her she had to wait till she was older.  Then on her birthday I told her if she wanted them pierced, then we’d get them done.  Her fear overcame her desire to be like her friends – most of whom have had their ears pierced for ages.  So, ok fine, we’ll wait a bit longer, no biggie.

Well, this last week she told me she was really ready.  Really really this time.

As it happened we had to go to the mall to find a birthday gift for my dad and happy coincidence we’d be in the very place that housed Claire’s.  If you don’t have girl children or aren’t a women, then you’ll have zero idea of the place I speak.  However, if you are a woman or have girl children, then you know this store is the Mecca of all things girly.

Our first stop was Claire’s to get the piercing over & done with since Honey bunny was beginning to get nervous about the whole needle/pain/fear of unknown experience.  There was only one girl working in the store.  And it took her forever to come over, get things set-up, fill out the paperwork (because they have to protect their asses in case of a screw-up or infection or blah blah blah).  This delay was causing Honey bunny to think more, more, more about the needles/pain/fear of unknown.  FINALLY!  The chick was ready to do the piercing.  At this point, Honey bunny has begun to alternately hold her breath & breath in and out really fast. You can imagine what this was doing to her physically.

I held tight to Honey bunny’s hand while the chick put the ear-piercing apparatus up to my child’s ear lobe. I was using my best soothing Mommy voice to try to keep Honey bunny from completely flipping out and began counting down 3…2…1… expecting the chick to pierce her ear at ‘1’ like any normal person with half a brain would do but did she? NO! I got to ‘1’ and she waited like 5 seconds later then pierced her ear. WTF?! We moved on to Honey’s other ear lobe and did the count down again… this time I’m thinking ok she must know to do this thing on ‘1’ but does she? NO! AGAIN! She waited 5 seconds before doing the piercing.

This whole time Honey bunny has been silently crying, holding her breath, and squeezing my hand. Well, it was at last over so I did my best to cheer her for her bravery, congratulate her on the new jewellery, and get her to breath normally!

I look down at my little Pumpkin, who I should have known would be watching the whole thing go down, and she is pale as can be with no color in her lips AT ALL. She tells me, “mommy I don’t feel good in my tummy, I think I’m gonna throw up”. She begins gagging!! I start freaking out because I’ve never seen her so pale & she’s threatening to throw up in the middle of a store. Meanwhile Honey bunny is saying to me, “mommy, I see blue spots and I can’t really hear and I think I’m gonna be sick”. All I can think is: ARE YOU FREAKIN KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW???!!!

So I tell Honey bunny to stay in the chair, don’t get up, and breath slowly. I take Pumpkin out of the store to distract her from being sick – look over there! Oh, what about that thing! Did you see those over there?! – this does not help. We go back into the store so I can pay for this ear piercing nightmare. We all go over to the register and Honey bunny is still complaining about throwing up so I get her standing in front of a big trash bag. The chick starts ringing us up and Pumpkin is falling asleep on my should but more like passing out than sleeping so I begin massaging her face and her arm and talking to her in a loud voice telling her to wake up.

As if the clerk is finally noticing all the HELL I’m going thru, she offers to get the girls lollipops. Maybe it will help, she offers. YA THINK? Honey bunny starts sucking on the lollipop right away but Pumpkin refuses it, flatout. Not much I can do about that. I paid the bill and we left the store.

We are just about to the food court when I see there’s a Jamba Juice and I think – hey, this place sells stuff with a lot of sugar in it. perhaps it will help these children feel better! So we’re standing in line about to order our drinks when Pumpkin throws up ~mind you, I’m holding her in my arms~ all over her shirt, her dolly, and on part of the floor. Two things go through my mind: one, did any of it get on me ANYWHERE? and two, how fast can we disappear to the bathroom to get cleaned up?

To make this long story a little bit shorter, I’ll wrap this up by saying… I got Pumpkin cleaned up but we went to Target & I bought her a new shirt to wear since we still hadn’t bought my dad’s gift or gone to lunch with my mom & sister. They both got Jamba Juice and it did help them to feel better. I, on the other hand, did not get Jamba juice and I was still a bit shell shocked from the whole experience. But Honey bunny is thrilled with her earrings – she got Amethyst colored stones – and she has spent the last 4 days showing everyone her new earrings. So all ended well.

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),

4 thoughts on “A “funny” thing happened on the way to lunch

  1. OH my goodness, poor pumpkin 😦 The things females (young girls and women included) will do to look cool/fit in/be fashionable! I just loved your comment—“did she get any of it on ME?” SOoo true! I’m glad she is happy with her earing’s now… Silly clerks who don’t get having children… couldn’t she read her body language? Why on earth did she wait an extra 5 seconds??? 😦 That must have been torture on her 😦 But I’m sure now all she sees is her pretty earings 🙂

  2. @Erin – Oh, yes, now Honey bunny is ecstatic about her earrings & has already picked out the pair she will wear as soon as the 6 weeks are over! She talks about it almost daily.
    And Pumpkin told her preschool teacher that she’s nervous about getting her ears pierced now. Ha! I told her it will be a while before it’s her turn.

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