Yo dooode, watch the attitude ‘k

Honey bunny is not 16 yrs old but you’d never know it when you speak with her; she acts & speaks as if she were a 16 yr old know-it-all.  Quick side note: If memory serves, I was a 16 yo know it all.  Carry on…. When I went to pick her up from school to take her to karate, she got into the car and proceeded to say, “Doooode, I totally need a break from karate”.  Huunh??  “Are you speaking to me?  I’m your mother not dude“.  (All right people, when did I morph into my Mom?  I’d seriously like to know?!  And this is no laughing matter.)

OK, then the other day she’s playing with her sister’s game boy & when Pumpkin screams her head off – I mean – ever so politely asks for the game to be given back, Honey bunny says, “Dooode, chillax. Take your stooopid game”.
Ohnoyoudidnt!  What the hell am I supposed to do with that?  Well, I can tell you what I really want to do… smack her upside the head!  But I think “they” frown on that sorta thing these days.  I opted for my calmest Mommy voice, “honey, you can speak nicely to your sister.  It is her toy.  How would you like it if she took your DS & played with it while laughing at your frustration and anger?”
Her: “Whatever, Mom”
Can someone tell me where I can pick up my copy of ‘How to raise children to be helpful, polite, considerate, educated, well adjusted, caring adults, that earn a good living’ book.  PLEASE?  Help.  Me.

So!  Then I get this one thrown at me last week.  I was taking a shower & went to use my conditioner only to find that Honey bunny had poured her shampoo –strawberry Suave shampoo – into my conditioner bottle.  WTF?!?!?  Ruined half a bottle of conditioner.  Not inexpensive conditioner, either.

After cursing her in three languages and one I made up just for the occasion, I got out of the shower.  When my wonderful, thoughtful daughter bounced into my bathroom a little later I quietly asked her why she decided to pour her shampoo into my conditioner?  And this wasn’t one of those you got your peanut butter in my chocolate / you got your chocolate in my peanut butter kind of moments, where those two things mixed together make delicious awesomeness.  NO.  This completely destroyed my conditioner.

Do you know what she said??  NO JOKE.  She told me she was bored.  Bored in the shower.  (You have got to be FREAKIN kidding me.)  Here’s how the remainder of the conversation went:

Me: Honey, last night you were telling Daddy & I that we shouldn’t use the air conditioner because it’s not good for the environment but you spent so much time in the shower that you were bored.  How much water do you think you wasted?
Her: Mom, you take everything I say and twist it around and then use it against me!
Me: (jaw unhinged & laying on the floor) Uhhh, well honey I’m sorry you feel that way but I’m just trying to show you how those two things don’t equal out. You can’t save the environment by wasting water.
Her: Geez Mom, I know that. (runs off to go torture her sister, probably)
Me: (muttering to no one in particular since I’m the only one left in the bathroom) So glad we had this conversation.

Yeah, she’s only 8 yrs old…. I’m toast when she actually is 16 yrs old.

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must me technical),


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