I swear to you the last couple weeks I’ve had these periods of intense anxiety where I feel as if I’m forgetting to do something or be somewhere. Like I’ve left my child unattended in a shopping mall or I’ve left the curling iron plugged in & on high. I begin to panic, frantically look around, and do a mental rundown of all the people in my life; Honey bunny is at camp -no karate today, Pumpkin is at day care -she’s fine, Husband is working -he’s good. I’ve already done my walking today & I don’t have to go to the gym. Next, I open my calendar and look over the days events; I don’t have a hair appt, doctor appt, nail appt, or psychotherapist appt (just kidding on the last one ~ although it might be about time to see one when you start having panic/anxiety attacks). Heh.
Over scheduled much? Probably. Next week Honey bunny starts school so maybe that’s it. Only 23 more days until the BIG WALK, maybe that’s it? It just seems to be this nebulous unknown thing floating around in my brain that is making me think I’ve forgotten something. Something REALLY IMPORTANT. To be honest, it sucks A**. I’m just saying. I don’t have time to be having panic attacks or wasting time racking my brain for whatever event or task I think I’m forgetting.
Perhaps its that I generally operate behind the 8 ball… always reacting instead of being proactive. You know what I mean, like preparing stuff in advance. Making lunches the night before not 5 minutes before we need to leave the house. Setting clothes out for the gremlins at night as opposed to arguing/debating/begging/pleading for them to pick out outfits that are appropriate for the day while dragging their stuff to the car. Having ONE location for ALL SHOES instead of running all over the house willy nilly desperately searching of the matching shoe to the pair of shoes that Pumpkin MUST wear that day or all HELL will break loose. I think you see where I’m going.
So what do I do about it?! How can I make it stop? Will it just go away on its own? Will I be forced to get my act together so life doesn’t seem so out of control? Shit. Who knows? I’m going for the “I hope it will go away on it’s own” route. Wish me luck.
Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),
P.S. And here’s the credit where credit is due. I used the brain image that I found here. Thanks peeps for the excellent image – which was the perfect pict for my purposes.