Conundrum

Well here’s the scenerio, the other night we were driving to my folk’s house for dinner and somehow we get on the topic of when the husband & I got married.

Pumpkin asks, “was I at the wedding Mommy?”
Me: “uh, no honey, you weren’t born yet.”
Her: “where was I at?”
Me: “you didn’t exist yet.”
Her: “but where was I Mommy?!”
Me: “you hadn’t been created.”
Her (starting to get really frantic): “mommy, where was I?  where was I?”
Me (finally stumbling on an idea): “you were waiting patiently for mommy & daddy to get married and make you.”

That seemed to be a sufficient enough answer to calm her down.  But here’s my plight, the husband & I don’t wholeheartedly agree on religion and all that jazz, so how do I explain something like this to her without getting all preachy?  One part of me wants to tell her about God and Jesus and what I believe about souls but those beliefs don’t match the husband’s beliefs.  Therefore, I say nothing.  He says nothing.  Better to say nothing then to have each of us giving her different / conflicting answers.  I guess there will be time later to go into the different views, ours and those of people all other the world, right?  She’s only 3 yrs old.

The same can be said about Honey Bunny.  Except in her case she’s in elementary school – going into 3rd grade.  So, like kids talking about kissing, sex, where babies come from, and so on (as much as I’d like to believe that they aren’t talking about that stuff yet, I’m pretty sure they are), she has friends telling her about church, God, Jesus, Heaven, etc.  Then she comes home asking me about it all.  And I’m on the reactive side instead of the proactive side of the conversation attempting to explain to her that lots of people believe lots of different things about church, God, Jesus, Heaven, etc.  But what I really want to do is tell her everything before those brats at school get to her.  Am I already too late?!   

I guess there is something to be said for Catholic school, they’re taught one thing right away.  I’m not saying it’s the RIGHT thing, I’m just saying it preempts the discussion of those things from one child’s perspective to another child.  You know if the husband and I were on the same page with this stuff we could have explained our version of it to the gremlins by now.  But alas, we have divergent views. 

Beginning to think that I will just tell Honey bunny my version now.  She is old enough to comprehend.  And if anyone knows of a good book about how to discuss the birds & the bees with an 8 yr old, then PLEASE I BEG YOU, tell me so then I can read it and know what stuff to say – or omit – appropriate to her age.

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),

Ciao

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