She won’t be having any kids

My Mom, sister, myself & the gremlins went away for a girls-family weekend. We went to the Monterey Bay Aquarium, Cannery Row, Fisherman’s wharf, and all that other touristy stuff. It all went fairly well. The gremlins had a wonderful time seeing the otters, peguins, jellys, rays, and starfish. It was a long day but since they had such a blast it went by quickly.  Plus, it was great fun watching the excitement of each new discovery play on their faces.

It was on our drive home Sunday night that we ran into some trouble. Oh, not with us exactly, but on the freeway to get home…. First there was a car accident. This cause horrendous bumper to bumper, slower than a snail’s pace traffic. Even after passing the accident, the traffic did not pick-up. By the time we reached the freeway interchange, Honey bunny started complaining about having to go to the bathroom. And when I say complaining, what I really mean is whining and crying and screaming that she was going to go to the bathroom in her pants if we didn’t get her to a bathroom soon. This whole panic attack got Pumpkin start on a rant about how she was really hot in her sweater and she needed me to take it off RIGHT NOW!!!! Unfortunately, I was driving the car. So there was no way in hell that I was going to be able to take her sweater off. As if that weren’t enough, she started having a hysterical fit because her back was itching. My mom was sitting in the seat next to her so I asked if she could try to help Pumpkin until I could figure out a way to get us off the F**KING freeway. Apparently, it was just too much to ask because then my mom began to get hostile and was totally ineffective in soothing Pumpkin. OK, I gotta cut her some slack it has been a really long time since she had to soothe a baby.

Well, it’s at this point, this magical moment of family fun, that my sister can see that I’m about to absolutely lose it… she reaches over, grabs my arm, and quietly says, “I know you don’t really want to hear this right now, but I think that my tubes just tied themself”.

Needless to say, I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants.  Thankfully, AT LAST, we got to the gas station.  My mom ran Honey bunny to the bathroom, I took Pumpkin out of her car seat, took off the offending sweater, and held her until she stopped crying.

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),

3 thoughts on “She won’t be having any kids

  1. Funny. I have to say that MY tubes are tying themselves in knots, not just from your story but because I have BEEN there, DONE that too many times lately!

    I love how your sister said it. And I’m glad you were able to get out and soothe your baby!

    (found you through Make Me Laugh Monday!)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s