Aaahhha!

I know this it completely mundane (and my mundane-ness is a topic for another day), but I figured out that if I get ready extra fast & don’t do a bunch of cleaning, then I can drop Pumpkin off at preschool early and thereby have nearly an hour of time available for reading or blogging or working on my business.  Maybe I could even do this a few times a week!  It’s an ‘Aha’ moment for me.  Why it’s taken me so long to figure it out is beyond me.  Wait, I’ll take that back.  It’s not beyond my understanding.  I have just finally agreed with the Husband to stop obsessively cleaning the house on the possibility that someone might be coming by to view the house.  Yes, it’s been 9 months and I am so incredibly tired of the constant cleaning.  So we decided that we would bring the lockbox in the house & make all agents call to schedule an appointment before they brought their clients over.  This is a small move but it frees me up tremendously.  No more worrying that an agent is going to show up unannounced to view the house ~ which just so happens to be in a state of total annihilation.  So, that hour that has “magically” appeared in the morning is really a result of not cleaning every inch of the house, including making beds, putting toys away, picking up random pieces of paper, and flushing toilets.  You’d be surprised how many times I’ve walked into any one of our bathrooms (and just in case you’re curious, we have 4 & ½ bathrooms) only to find stuff in the toilet!  We have two young children who aren’t so thorough about cleaning or remembering to flush.  I won’t get gross here by describing what has been in there.  That’s probably not necessary ~ just use your imagination.

Anyway, so I now have this “magically” appeared hour available several times a week.  Wow.  The only challenge I’m facing; what do I want to do first with the “magic” hour.  There are always so many things that I want to do.  I’m pretty darn sure that I’ve written several times about the things I want to do but regularly don’t have the time to do… but I’ll list them again here for your ease of use.  Read a book, look through a magazine, write this or my other blog, work on the book.  Tough choice… tough choice.  So for the moment I am working on this blog.  But if I continue to use this “magic” time, then I can do it all, right?

Or maybe that particular belief goes back to my need to be super-mom.  I can do it all, have it all, be it allDelusional, much?  Damn those women & parenting magazines, cleaning product & minivan commercials that make us believe that the super-mom lifestyle is doable.  Even now as I write this I am contradicting my own thinking.  Warring thoughts are rattling around my brain.  On the one hand I believe that it’s possible to do it all ~ have it all, if you just schedule it.  But on the other hand I’m thinking that we can’t schedule every waking moment in our day.  Well, technically we can schedule every moment of the day (and many women do, myself included) but what does that leave you with for a life?  Do you truly have a life or just random items to do in a neat organized list (for those über super-moms)?  This sort of life leads to the inevitable questioning of oneself ~well, at least it leads me to question myself.  What am I doing with my life?!  If this is the only one I’ve got, then what am I doing with it?  Is this living up to my expectations, my dreams, my hopes?  Do I need to live bigger more outrageously?  Do I have to say to myself, “ok, I can’t do it all.  I’m gonna have to give something up”?  But what do I give up?  And if this is my only chance at this life, then why should I have to give anything up?!

Complex questions for simply finding an hour in my daily schedule that was previously being poorly used or being used in a manner not to my liking.  And somehow I ended up back to the topic of my mundane-ness.

Thanks for listening (or reading, if you must be technical),

Ciao

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