The two year old and the nuclear meltdown

The day started out as a pretty decent day.  I mean, the weather was spectacular for October.  Mid-70’s, no clouds, no wind, in short ~ beautiful.  We agreed to do an open house, it has been awhile since the last one, (you can read more about the saga here ~if you have nothing better to do with your time) on Sunday between 1-5pm so Honey bunny went to a play at her friend’s house and the husband & I took Pumpkin to the park to play.  After a while at the park we decided to head over to our office (where I have a crib still set-up), that way Pumpkin could take a nap.  Which she did for almost two hours.  Good nap.  Now, if I had been smart enough I would have taken one as well.  But I decided to read a book instead.  

As a side note, it is a really cute story called ‘A Rather Lovely Inheritance’ by C.A. Belmond.  Nothing ground-breaking or thought-provoking but still a lot of fun to read.  (Yes, I like escapist reading.  I have two young children.  I think about escaping very very frequently.)

Anyhoozlebee, we decided to go to Chevy’s for dinner 1) because I really don’t feel like cooking, ummm, EVER, 2) because we have to have our Chevy’s fix at least once a week, and 3) because we’re just too damn lazy to make dinner ourselves.  So Pumpkin woke up from her nap & we got Honey bunny from her friend’s house.  It was at this point in the time/space continuum that Pumpkin began her slow buildup to TOTAL AND COMPLETE NUCLEAR MELTDOWN.   For whatever reason, who the hell knows why, she began to cry as we were getting on the freeway, oh I forgot to mention that the restaurant was about 20 miles from our house, so we enjoyed the full benefit of her screaming at the top of her little lungs within a closed & close environment.  Here was a sampling of what she yelled at us.  The husband asked her if she wanted to watch a movie (and I sure wish this had sound because you are missing the full effect) but she screamed back, “I. DON’T. WANT. TO. WATCH. A. MOVIE!” and then screamed like she was on the scariest roller coaster ride ever made, you know the part of the ride right when they’ve got you poised at the top & then drop you down.  Then when I asked her if she wanted some water, she yelled back, “I. DON’T. WANT. ANY. WATER!”  So I continued to talk to her in a calm soothing voice in the vain attempt at calming her down, she yelled, “I. DON’T WANT. TO. EAT.!  I’M. NOT. HUNGRY!”  Followed by more screaming that probably could have shattered crystal goblets, if we had had any of those in the car with us.

When Honey bunny asked where we were going to eat (we hadn’t told her because she usually complains about going to Chevy’s), the husband told her, “We were going to Chevy’s for dinner and you can start crying now about going to eat there.”  This statement made me laugh like a hyena.  Perhaps I was reaching my limit of sanity? 

Well, the crying & screaming went on for 20 minutes STRAIGHT, with no break in the entertainment.  We alternately tried to talk to Pumpkin in our most patient, calming, soothing voices.  But to no avail.  It was one of those situations where the kids get themselves so worked up that no matter what you say or do, it just isn’t going to make a DAMN difference.  I remember Honey bunny doing this same thing on a number of occasions.  The only thing that works is getting out of the vehicle and holding your child until they come back down to earth.  And this is exactly what I did as soon as we got to the restaurant.  Oh, I’d say it took me close to 10 minutes to get her settled.  The husband & Honey bunny went in to get the drinks (and not the alcoholic kind, though I could have downed two… or three… or ten margaritas) while Pumpkin & I wandered around the exterior of the restaurant with me doing my best to distract her from her screaming fit. 

Me: “Oh, look at the pretty flowers, they are so colorful, what colors do you see?”
Pumpkin: (hiccup) “orange, pink, (hiccup), red, purple” (hiccup)
Me: “Do you see any yellow flowers?”
Pumpkin: “no, llellow, (hiccup), pink, and purple” (hiccup)

We did finally go in & Pumpkin sat in my lap for most of the meal but at least she wasn’t screaming bloody murder any more.  Praise be to God.  And I think that we all took a few deep breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth.

Thanks for listening (or reading if you must be technical),



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