For some extremely bizarre reason I’ve been thinking about being pregnant. Why? I have no idea! I really have no desire to have any more children. (See my previous post). We have been blessed with two super girls and are happy with our family as it is. Not forgetting to mention that the husband had the big V, so if I were to get pregnant, then he’d be asking me some serious questions. Anyway, I guess it can be partially attributed to the fact that our “baby” is now almost 2 1/2 yrs old and there is some internal switch that tells women, ‘hey, it’s time to have another baby’. But then again that could just be only happening for me. I haven’t comfirmed this with other mothers. (Writer’s note: Leave a comment if you have felt this same urge. I’d love to get a kind of census going). I do seem to recall about the time that our 1st born was this age I began to feel the early pings of desire for another baby. In fact, I think I started bugging the husband about trying to get pregnant again. We waited. Then when we thought we were ready, we had to wait until I actually got pregnant. So, TWO YEARS later we found out we were gonna have another bambino.
I consider myself one of the lucky ones. My pregnancies were incredibly easy. No morning sickness, no fatigue, no gestational diabetes, no problems with the baby, no problems at all. A couple of my friends got pregnant just before me & both of them had terrible morning sickness and fatigue. Oh sure, I gained like 45lbs two times but who’s counting (and I never really lost all the weight after giving birth to the first baby)?! I sure wasn’t, until after I delivered. Then I thought back on it and realized I probably should have watched what I was eating a little more carefully (and not just while it was going into my mouth). Yeah, and maybe exercised a little more. To my credit, I will tell you that during my second pregnancy I was better about exercising. I went to the gym two or three times a week and worked out with a trainer. But I loved being pregnant! The miracle of it always managed to put me in awe. Sure, I realize, that for generations upon generations getting pregnant was not a miracle, it was just what happened when you had sex. However, for those of us in the last 20 years or so ~ who could REALLY choose to have children or not ~ it is a miracle. Especially for those who chose to wait until they were absolutely certain they were ready or had found the right man or just decided that the time was right regardless of whether there was a man in the picture.
It took us about 6 months to get pregnant with our first. We were so thrilled! We told everbody and their grandmother as soon as we found out. Sadly, we lost that baby within the first 8 weeks. Then it took 3 months to get pregnant again. This time we were a little more slow to inform everyone that we were expecting. Happily, this pregnancy resulted in our now 7yr old daughter. During the 9 months (10 really if you can count, I mean it is 40 weeks right?!) I rejoiced in the amazingness, which I don’t believe is a real word ~but oh well, of being pregnant. Then, when the movements started I was over the moon with excitement. Feeling those little kicks and punches were the absolute best! Even now, thinking back on those times, I smile fondly and recall moving my hands around different spots to attempt to elicit a response from the baby inside. It’s memories like those that make me want to have another baby. HA! Reality butts its ugly head in and I fully recollect that after the baby comes out, there is a hella lotta work to do.
And we are just about to reach a few finishing lines with our 2 yr old. Why would I even want to go back to the starting gate? Well, truthfully, because I want to feel a baby growing inside of me again. I’ve forgotten the pain of delivering a baby. I’ve begun to get a few full uninterrupted nights of sleep and have almost forgotten the major sleep deprivation under which I’ve been operating these last 2 yrs.
Obviously, for the reason stated in the beginning of this post, we will not be having any more children. That’s ok with me. I have been blessed beyond measure. And I am truly grateful for the experiences that I’ve been lucky enough to enjoy. Plus, I still have my memories.
Thanks for listening (or reading if you must be technical),